Hold the Pubes

As if New Jersey's Rep isn't bad enough already. A cook from NJ was caught and sentenced to 15 days in jail and 2 years on probation after putting his chest and pubic hair into a customer's sandwich. Wait it gets better, the customer was a cop. He felt that he needed to get back at the cop for locking him up a few months earlier.

On October 12th, the cook pleaded guilty to aggravated assault on a police officer. So when he recognized one of the two cops that came into his restaurant, the cook quickly prepared a special meal for one of New Jersey's finest. A Pubic Sandwich.

Stories like these just make you wonder sometimes what people are thinking. These cops were just trying to have a nice lunch, but instead got a little more than what they ordered. Next time you order a sandwich from there, don't forget to tell the waiter to hold the pubes, Okay Bro?!

Are You Kidding Me Bro?

Huffington Post - Authorities have launched an animal cruelty investigation after a dog was discovered encased inside a block of ice on a British Columbia man's front lawn.The dead dog was discovered by the homeowner on Jan. 15, said Marcie Moriarty, a spokeswoman from the British Columbia animal protection society, adding that the man did not know the dog or how the block of ice arrived on his property.

"It's a bizarre and very upsetting case," Moriarty said Wednesday. "Inside the block of ice, which looks to have been made from a large rubber bin, was the frozen corpse of a medium-sized black dog."

Investigators are trying to determine the cause of death.

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Come on world.  Unless this was some crazy pitbull trained by Mike Vick, or a any cat, what's the point?  I've seen dog statues on lawns before, some Bro has one on his lawn in the town next to me.  It lasts longer, and won't rot in the summer.  So there really isn't a perk to having a frozen dog lawn ornament.  I think it would be pretty awesome if the dog woke up like Austin Powers and was perfectly fine, but that's probably not going to happen...  I guess if this Moriarty Bro is in the mob it kind of makes sense.  Instead of a horses head in the bed, its his dog frozen solid in his front yard?  The final sentence in the report is pretty good, "Investigators are trying to determine the cause of death".  He's not frozen in a giant block of ice or anything...

Just in Time for the First Full Weekend Back

Santa Cruz Sentinel - How strange is the emerging world of medical-marijuana entrepreneurship?  Consider Clay Butler, who may soon be marketing a food product that he's never tasted, and that he would never buy. The product is called Canna Cola, and it's a soft drink that contains THC, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana, aimed at medical marijuana dispensaries.

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About a week ago I questioned, why isn't there a pot drink?  People proceeded to explain to me how I can make one, but who really wants to go through all that shit?  No instructions needed anymore, big Clay, a straight shooter who only uses any drug like aspirin when he has a headache, has come through in the clutch.  It's supposed to taste good, having less of the marijuana taste than any other pot drinks, so why not give it a shot?  The drinks are expected to run between $10 and $15 per 12 ounce bottle.  Captain & Canna Cola for me this weekend, Sirs.
 

Bro Tunes: The Script Edition

Another pretty good tune here that was recommended as a Bro Tune, by possibly the new head of The Bro Cave's music posts.  I've always been a B.o.B fan, and was supposed to see him live at Oneonta before those plans fell through.  So that was a bummer, but I might make the trip to Geneseo with a few Bros to check out their spring concert of Ke$ha, B.o.B, and KiD CuDi.  I'm beginning to think Cortland doesn't have anyone close to match that trio at our fellow SUNY school.  Oh well.  Check out The Script, a solid newish band on youtube, iTunes, or here at hotnewhiphop.  Their most well-known song is "Breakeven", one that I'm not a huge fan of, but "Walk Away" featuring B.o.B makes up for it by adding a new dynamic to the pop artist's song.

Bro of the Week: Matt Keck

Yep, this kid lives right next to me... Worst BOTW of all time, but I was desperate.

The Boogie Man

Sadly, the star of this video clip is a former Bro of the Week recipient, Mark Sanchez.  In an obvious break of BroCode, Dirty Sanchez took the liberty to wipe a fresh booger on backup quarterback Mark Brunell.  Brunell is clearly stunned by the action.  I'm kind of curious myself what he said to Mark after that.  Too bad noone asked either of them after being eliminated from the playoffs...

One Sexy Conference Championship Round

3:00 PM

     Vs.    

   Green Bay Packers               Chicago Bears          

There's been a bunch of talk regarding the condition of soldier field, and how the weather will affect the game.  Here's some news, the Green Bay Packers are playing on the same field as the Bears are on Sunday, not only that but Aaron Rodgers thrives in cold weather situations. 

In cold weather situations, Aaron Rodgers has a 101.5 passer rating in 8 cold-weather situation games, that's before the Wall Street Journal ran an article with 2 weeks remaining in the regular season.  Facing a Giants defense? No problem.  Rodgers was 25-37 for 404 yards and 4 touchdowns.  In his previous game against the Bears, Rodgers threw 19-28 for 229 yards, one touchdown, and one pick, still an 89.7 QB rating.  Next comes the Wild Card game, Rodgers rises to the occasion. 

Jay Cutler on the other hand is Jay Cutler.  One game he'll look like a starting Pro Bowl quarterback, the next he looks like Rob Johnson, cannon arm making terrible decisions.  In his last game facing the Packers in Chicago, week 17, Cutler threw nearly 50%, and 2 interceptions.  Cutler is to risky to rely upon.

Both defenses are amazing, negate each other, so who has the best offense?  The Green Bay Packers.  Who's quarterback consistently rises to the occasion?  The Green Bay Packers.  The Cheeseheads will win this game and cover the spread, but not by much.  The Pack advance to the Super Bowl while covering the spread, 24-17.

Green Bay Packers -3.5

6:30 PM

     Vs.    

     New York Jets               Pittsburgh Steelers

At the beginning of the season, and throughout the season until now, I didn't think the Jets had it in them to get this far, particularly Mark Sanchez.  There weren't really any questions about the defense which had almost all returners from last year, it was all about the offense.  With an extra year under his belt, Mark's play is noticeably different.  Regrettably, almost all Jet fans are still douchebags.

The past two years, Thomas Jones carried the Jet offense proving to be dangerous as a back on the ground, and out of the backfield as a receiver.  That same offense is not long gone, but it's deep in a transition period.  Instead of it being just Thomas Jones, the load is now split between LaDainian Tomlinson and Shonn Greene.  Offensive Coordinator Brian Schottenheimer is finally beginning to allow quarterback Mark Sanchez more room to grow.  This is the biggest difference in this Jets team compared to last year's team.  If the Jets make it past the Steelers, it will be because of Mark Sanchez. 

Each defense is on the top of their game right now, you know Rex Ryan is going to get his guys fired up.  As fired up as last weekend at New Enlgand?  I think not.  Although I do still think Rapelisberger has the upper hand on Sanchez overall as a quarterback, I'm going to say the Sanchise rises to the occasion like he has all year.  The Jets also have Santonio Holmes returning to Pittsburgh this week look for a big win against his former team.  He has already become Sanchez's go-to target.  Look for this connection to be the deciding factor in the game.  However, if the game comes down to a field goal by Nick Folk from 40 or more yards, the Jets will lose.  He deserves to be a NFL kicker and much as Matt Dodge deserves to be a NFL punter.  I pick the Jets to win this game 24-21 (hopefully me picking them to win for once will mean they lose). 

New York Jets -4