Bro of the Week: Aaron Rodgers

Not a real exciting Bro of the Week, I know.  Of course it's hard to live up to losing your two front teeth and not knowing how it happened.  But it was the Super Bowl, Aaron Rodgers is a Bro, and he kicked ass.  Against the number 1 ranked Pittsburgh Steeler defense whom only allowed 15 touchdowns all season, Rodgers threw for 304 yards, and 3 touchdowns.  Not only that, but he hasn't been involved in any sexual assault cases thus far in his career, a feat that is truly becoming hard to find in starting NFL quarterbacks.

Then again, I don't think his receivers are getting enough credit because of our society being so quarterback oriented.  Greg Jennings wouldn't have had a good game if it weren't for half of his receptions being touchdowns (2).  4 receptions is by no means a Greg Jennings game, but Jordy Nelson stepped up and made up for him.  Nelson caught 9 balls for 140 yards and a touchdown.  The only reason I'm actually writing about the recievers is so I could post the famous Greg Jennings, broken leg touchdown video.  "Fuck you Gumby!"

But back to the Bro, props to A-Rodg for a game and season well played despite people doubting him throughout the entire season.  It's about time more of those #4 jerseys start disappearing for Lambeau.  Lombardi trophy, Super Bowl MVP, Championship Belt, and now, Bro of the Week, Aaron Rodgers is going to Disney World.

"They Can't Even Stop a Nosebleed!"

Bart Scott is a manimal.  Seriously hes fuckin' crazy.  Next time I'm in New York I feel that much more unsafe now.  Probably the most intense postgame interviews I've ever seen.  That's what happens when your team spends the entire post game jumping into the stands, bragging, and being as much of a dick as possible.  Whatever you do, give no credit to the Pats or anyone else.  It's not that people think that the Jets are not a good team, its the team's general asshole attitude towards everyone that has people rooting against them.  And everyone knows the Jets defense is much better than the Patriots defense, that's not even a fucking question.  The Pats defense was terrible all year.  Even though this is probably the most tense postgame interview I've ever seen, its a typical Jets, talk out of the ass scene.  Prepare for another week of shit talking.  Also, pretty sure Sal Paolantonio shit his pants right before he congratulated Scott.

Attention Jets Fans: Free Foot Fucks for Everyone!

The New York Jets win.  Obviously I've shared that I'm not a fan of these assholes, especially this fat fuck named Rex Ryan, but as much as it pains me to say this, you have to give credit where credit is due.  The Jets simply deserved to win that game.

First of all, another great year by the New England Patriots, not even the most pompus Jets fan can deny the 14-2 season a a good one.  But in the end when it matter, the Pats faltered.  Ii honestly don't think that the different defensive schemes confused Brady, I just think that he didn't come to play, and if anyone was confused, the receivers were.  For most of the game, the quarterback's throw to his receivers made it look like they were all out of sync.  The only excuse that I can think of is that the 2 week break from live football affected New England's play.  Who knows.

Everyone knew the Patriots defense was terrible going into this game, but I among other people thought they would step up.  To make matters worse for the Patriots, the Jets offense was superb.  Dirty Sanchez did everything that could be asked of him and more by not forcing throws, and locating passes where only his receiver's could catch them.  His 127.3 passer rating trumped Tom Brady's by 28.3 points, in 20 less throws than Brady.  The Jets Offense exposed all the defensive holes that the Patriots have to fill in the offseason as not only the passing game excelled, but also the 1-2 punch of LaDainian Tomlinson and Shonn Greene also added balance, totaling an average of 4.4 yards per carry between the two backs.

What won the Jets the though, was the defense.  After a let down regular season following last year's dominance on D, the Jets seem to have finally caught their stride when it counts.  In the last 2 games, the Jets defense has confused and disrupted the two best quarterbacks in the NFL.  If the two best quarterbacks in the league can't beat the Jets, who can?

The saying is "Defense wins Championships", maybe, just maybe the Jets can march through New York with the Super Bowl trophy.  Moving forward, the Jets face the Steelers next week, who they already beat earlier this year.  Though it is said that games are different in the postseason and anything can happen, the path does go through a very good Pittsburgh team.  Not to mention that of all 4 remaining teams, the Jets defense ranks behind the 3 others.  The Jets haven't won shit yet.  To think that all of this started at SUNY Cortland...

Vince Wilfork Taking us Out of the Shitter and Into the Divisional Round of the Playoffs

Why is Vince leading the way?  Because he and the New England Patriots are going to take a giant shit on the Jets.  I don't even like Wilfork, he's an asshole on the field, but you gotta give credit where credit is due.  It ain't no walk in the park for a 325 pounder to take a shit in a porta-potty while fully padded.  Fuck Fireman Ed, Rex "Feet" Ryan, and Antonio Cromartie with all 47 of his kids.  Your welcome Handy House for the free publicity.  Enjoy the longest fucking blog post of all time, here's the picks...

Saturday, January 15

     Vs.    

  Baltimore Ravens               Pittsburgh Steelers

If it weren't for the Jets-Patriots hype, this game would absolutely be getting more attention than it is.  The line has the Ravens getting 3 points on the road.  These inner-division rivals will be meeting each other for the third time after splitting the regular season series in two tight, low-scoring games. 

Rumor has it that Ray Rice is has been ill all of Friday, spending more time vomiting than studying.  When you're facing a defense as strong as the Steelers, you'll need all the time you can get to study them.  For this reason Ray Rice is the determining factor of the game.  Don't get me wrong, Flacco has been a good solid quarterback all year, but good doesn't cut it versus the Steelers defense, especially without your star running back. 

I have a feeling Rice will be over the sickness by Saturday morning, but that missed study time is key.  You can probably say that the Steelers D and Ravens revitalized defense cancel each other out.  But, Joe Flacco and an unprepared Ray Rice don't matchup favorably against Big Ben Rapelisberger and a fully prepared Rashard Mendenhall.  The Black & Yellow take this one and cover the spread at home.  Steelers win 21-13.

Pittsburgh Steelers -3

     Vs.    

Green Bay Packers               Atlanta Falcons      

Atlanta is favored by 3 in this game.  All the talk about this game has been Aaron Rodgers against Matt Ryan, and James Starks of UB.  It's more than that.  Honestly all of this year I haven't given two shits about whats going on in the NFC because when it's all said and done, the champ will be from the AFC. 

However, that won't keep me from making my pick.  I give Aaron Rodgers a slight edge on Matt Ryan as an overall quarterback.  Rodgers is packin' heat with weapons like Greg Jennings, old man Donald Driver, and James Starks.  Matty Ice has Roddy White, Tony Gonzalez, and Michael Turner.  Like the first game Saturday, the running back is the difference maker.  Congratulations to James Starks on an outstanding NFL playoff game, but you are unproven and certainly not Michael Turner.  The Burner's ability to run through the Packer's solid defense will be the deciding factor in whether the Falcons can squeeze past the Cheeseheads.

Based on the Falcons numbers at home (20-2), you've gotta stick with them as the pick to win in the dome.  But with the Cheeseheads having a slightly better quarterback, and a much better star-studded defense, it'll be extremely close.  If the Falcons win, it will be by less than 3, but they can very easy lose.  Mason Crosby kicking in a dome on the last drive is pretty attractive if you're a Packer fan.  Either the Falcons win 21-20, or the Pack take their talents to the NFC Championship game with a 23-21 win.

Green Bay Packers +3

Sunday, January 16

     Vs.    

Seattle Seahawks               Chicago Bears     

Good Fucking story.  Great story.  ESPN loved talking about the team that shouldn't have been in the playoffs winning their playoff game against the defending champion New Orleans Saints last week.  The win failed to install any confidence in critics though, as the Seahawks are 10 point underdogs this week at Chicago. 

Way back in week 6, the Seahawks edged out a victory over the Bears in Chicago 23-20.  Of course the weather in mid-October is a lot more attractive than it is mid-January, when it counts.  Hasselbeck didn't thrown 4 touchdowns in 20 degree weather on the road.  Let's face it, even though Marshawn Lynch's run was spectacular, Seattle won last week because of Matt Hasselbeck throwing 4 touchdowns at home against a sub-par Saints defense.  This season Hasselbeck didn't throw for more than 2 touchdowns in any games, and threw 2 touchdowns in only 3 games in the regular season.  Basically there's no way that Hasselbeck repeats his 4 touchdown performance against one of the best defenses in the league.  Realistically I'd say he has a better chance of throwing more interceptions than touchdowns, than throwing 2 or more touchdowns.

The Bears D and Saints defense are night and day.  The rested Bears have been waiting for two weeks to step back on the field for some live game action, and now the NFC's 2 seed has their chance at redemption from the regular season.  Everything's working against the 'Hawks; no 12th man, inclimate weather, and poor defense versus a great defense.  Cutler's inconsistency at times makes him look like he should be working at a gas station, other times he's playing like a Pro Bowl starter, but his inconsistency won't cost the Bears the game, it will only keep it close, less than 10 points.  Bears win 27-20 but fail to cover the spread.

Seattle Seahawks -10

     Vs.    

             New York Jets               New England Patriots   

The Jets have definitely caught the Pats' attention judging by Wes Welker's press conference that sticks the foot back in Rex Ryan's mouth (I had to) in the more suttle fashion possible.  The guy seriously deserves an award for the acting, I would've been cracking up all over the podium.  Notice that the flamboyant Jets Coach hasn't said a word since Welker put his "best foot forward" at his press conference. 

The Vegas line has the Jets as a 9 point underdog.  Yes, The Patriots did completely obliterate them the last time they took the field, but that isn't something that happens more than once in one season, especially between two playoff teams.  Keep in mind that this will be the third meeting between the two teams just this year, so they know each other's personnel and packages well.  Like last week, I expect Rex to implement a run-happy game plan to keep Tom Brady off the field as much as possible, if it turns into a high scoring affair, New York has no chance.

Belichick is one of the best NFL coaches of all time, Rex Ryan hasn't won or proved shit besides the fact that he loves feet.  Although the Jets offense is much is all around more efficient than last year, it doesn't match an offense ran by Tom Brady.  The Jets have the better defense of the two teams, but Belichick, being a defensive minded coach, won't let his players slouch in a game of this importance.  The New England Patriots will earn the win and advance to the AFC Championship game, barely covering the spread.  The Darkside prevails, Pats win 24-14.

New England Patriots -9

Don't blame me if you lose your fuckin' bets, I'm probably wrong as much as you are.  Good luck this weekend Assholes.