This Week in BroLinks - 1/21/2011

It's time for another look into the most entertaining posts in the blogging world this week.  Here are your BroLinks of this week...

Screen Junkies - Beautiful.  Simply a masterpiece.

Deadspin - Hmmm, interesting.  Well if this doesn't explain to everyone why Sexy Rexy hasn't been talking shit this week, I don't know what does.  Maybe because he's trying to play head games with Tomlin and he's playing them right back?  But anyway, oh yea, not only is Roethlisberger a rapist, but Mark Sanchez is too!  "It's amazing what some good genes and a nice set of dimples can do for your rep." - Emma Carmichael

Guyism - In honor of one of my best friends, Brian.  Every one of these 7 signs that point to you officially being a stoner applies.  Congrats Bro.
 
Asylum - I can understand if you aren't a fan of Ghostbusters, there's obviously plenty of people that have no sense of humor, or would rather watch "Mean Girls", but that's not me.  Ghostbusters is the shit, and I can't wait for the 3rd movie.  I just don't love this movie I grew up with as much as these people...

COED Magazine - How fucking perfect is this?  Just 2 days ago I was reminded of a girl I know, part Arabic, who got a tat on her pack in Arabic.  Apparently she found out it said the wrong thing after it was done, I then of course proceeded to post "hahahahaha" on this girl's status.  She then proceeded to delete me as a friend, and after 2 years, I'm still deleted.  But, it had to be done, check out these zodiac tattoo fails.

Gawker - Way to suck Bro.

BarstoolU - Yes, that douchebag who posts non-stop music is very fucking annoying, but this game is genius.  Props to Stool for creating "Smokesmash".

The Chive - Insanity.  This is what I'm going for in my profile pic.  2 giant Domincans = 1 giant Cuban?

Hello, Newman!

KBIO2 - BELFAIR, Wash. -- He was hired to deliver the mail, but instead he hoarded, dumped and burned them.
Prosecutors said Richard Farrell's "extreme laziness" caused him to hoard thousands of pieces of mail, then set them ablaze or throw them out.Farrell pleaded guilty to delay or destruction of mail, and was sentenced Wednesday to three years on probation and 120 hours of community service.

Farrell, 45, began working for the U.S. Postal Service in 1991 as a contract mail delivery driver.

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... he was also caught in the middle of a get-rich scheme with his good friend Kramer,driving a USPS truck full of cans to Michigan to get 10 cents instead of only 5 cents per can/bottle in New York.

Are You Kidding Me Bro?

Fucking epic.  I've seen a ton of versions remaking the LeBron commercial, including the one that the city of Cleveland made in spite of BronBron which was sweet, but this blows it out of the fucking water.  The fact is that this has been on YouTube for only a little more than one day and has 170,000 views. 170,000 views = Genius.  It's a great look back on Brett's career and what to expect in the future.  Keep truckin' Brett, but keep the "Purple Helmet" under control Bro.

"Wanna see my Danny Woodhead? Thats not even a joke I just think he's a good player... like naming my penis after him."

Nazi Much?

EnGadget - Way back in September 2009, we reported on an omnipotent war blimp from Lockheed Martin, now it looks like a similar dirigible could be hovering 20,000 feet above Afghanistan by this fall. (It's not clear whether or not the two blimps are one and the same, but Lockheed's craft was slated for an Afghan debut in 2011.) As part of the $211 million Blue Devil initiative, the US Air Force plans to pack the bloated beast -- which sports seven times the carrying capacity of the Goodyear blimp -- with up to a dozen interchangeable sensors and a supercomputer for processing data. It will then hover for stints as long as a week, collecting, assessing, and relaying important surveillance data to ground troops in a matter of seconds. It's a tall order, but Air Force officials hope that an on-board wide-area airborne surveillance system (WAAS), which uses 96 cameras to generate nearly 275TB of data every hour, and a supercomputer hosting the equivalent of 2,000 single-core servers will fit the bill. The aircraft isn't complete quite yet, but barring unforeseen obstacles, like a run-in with a giant needle, it should be up in the air starting October 15th. For more on Blue Devil check out our links below.

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$14 Trillion dollar in debt, what does the great nation of the United States of America do?  We're building a zeppelin.  Is this going to be apart of Goodyear's expansion to the market in Afghanistan? We have satellites, different flying things, all kinds of shit, but instead we're throwing money into something that can be shot down by 1 person with an RPG in Afghanistan.  Or how about a sniper rifle that can be shot 5-7 miles.  No SAM system will protect the giant blimp at 20,000 feet from a gunshot.  Big, slow, and defenseless won't win anything, a better way to spend money might be trying to bring troops back home like was promised.  It's too risky to have so many important tasks rely on this one product.

"The aircraft isn't complete quite yet, but barring unforeseen obstacles, like a run-in with a giant needle, it should be up in the air starting October 15th."

Fuck Cats... Again

CNN - As the death toll from devastating flooding in Brazil continues to rise, a single picture drives home the sense of loss.Leao, a medium-sized brown mutt, lies next to the grave of her owner, Cristina Maria Cesario Santana, who died in the catastrophic landslides caused by heavy rain. This AFP/Getty picture was taken on Saturday, the second consecutive day that the dog refused to leave the woman's grave at the cemetery in Teresopolis, near Rio de Janiero.
Brazilians are bracing for more rain, fearing more landslides after waves of muddy water swallowed towns in the country's worst flood disaster on record.
At least 655 deaths were reported in a mountainous region of Rio de Janeiro state, northeast of the city of Rio.

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First of all I'm kinda pissed Barstool got to this before me since I was awake at 5 am this morning.  But this just goes to show exactly what I always preach, fuck cats.  An owner's dog will always be there to stand by their side, dead or alive.  Cats do shit like cough up hairballs and stab you with their claws, Dogs lay down by their owner's grave for two straight days, and counting.  And you know what, Stool hit the nail right on the head, when they said "this is why I like dogs more than people", loyalty bitches.  That's what it's all about Bros.  When you get a dog that will keep motherfuckers off you like mine, you'll know what I mean.  Hounds for life.

Snorting Death?



MSN — Miami — Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff's deputies said Wednesday.
               The ashes were taken from a woman's home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on Dec. 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said.
               Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.
               "The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine," the sheriff's report said.
               Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff's spokesman Judge Cochran said.
               Police divers were trying to recover the ashes. The suspects were jailed on numerous charges of burglary and other crimes.

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Burglars at their best.  How fucked up did these dudes get off this?  Is there a difference in quality between human ashes and Great Dane ashes?  Amateurs... you've gotta taste it first to make sure.  Wherever these guys end up, they're in for a treat from some of the big boys.  Don't drop the soap. 

Honestly, I'm not much of a snorter myself.  I don't get it, I can't even handle pool water going up my nose, and people are snorting human/animal remains, crushed rocks, and who knows what other shit.  This is seriously what the US of fucking A has come to now?

I played a damn flag football game with a kid last year who snorted vicodin before the game because his "wrist hurt".  Are you fucking kidding me Bro?  It's a FLAG FOOTBALL GAME at SUNY Cortland.  You really proved yourself to be a leader out on the field, leading us to a 65-0 loss.  But you fought through the aching pain with the heart of a champion, the true American way, through drug abuse.  It's bad enough you can't use your mouth to take a prescription drug, you have to snort it Tony Montana style like that's impressive to everyone or something.  Way to go Bro, you're awesome.

BroFacts: Lyndon B. Johnson

Big Johnson. There's a bar in my area called "Big Johnson's, Johnson is also a term used for a dick in movies like Austin Powers.  So where did it originate?  Former United States President Lyndon B. Johnson was fond of showing it off in private meetings, proud of what was his.  He actually nicknamed his piece "Jumbo".  If there's one thing that LBJ accomplished during his time in office, it's giving the world a new nickname for a dick, the "Johnson".  Nobel Peace Prize worthy if I don't say so myself...

“In his recent biography of Lyndon Johnson, Flawed Giant, Robert Dallek writes that during a private conversation with some reporters who pressed him to explain why we were in Vietnam, Johnson lost his patience. According to Arthur Goldberg, LBJ unzipped his fly, drew out his substantial organ and declared, 'This is why!'"