Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Snorting Death?

MSN — Miami — Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff's deputies said Wednesday.
               The ashes were taken from a woman's home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on Dec. 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said.
               Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.
               "The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine," the sheriff's report said.
               Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff's spokesman Judge Cochran said.
               Police divers were trying to recover the ashes. The suspects were jailed on numerous charges of burglary and other crimes.


Burglars at their best.  How fucked up did these dudes get off this?  Is there a difference in quality between human ashes and Great Dane ashes?  Amateurs... you've gotta taste it first to make sure.  Wherever these guys end up, they're in for a treat from some of the big boys.  Don't drop the soap. 

Honestly, I'm not much of a snorter myself.  I don't get it, I can't even handle pool water going up my nose, and people are snorting human/animal remains, crushed rocks, and who knows what other shit.  This is seriously what the US of fucking A has come to now?

I played a damn flag football game with a kid last year who snorted vicodin before the game because his "wrist hurt".  Are you fucking kidding me Bro?  It's a FLAG FOOTBALL GAME at SUNY Cortland.  You really proved yourself to be a leader out on the field, leading us to a 65-0 loss.  But you fought through the aching pain with the heart of a champion, the true American way, through drug abuse.  It's bad enough you can't use your mouth to take a prescription drug, you have to snort it Tony Montana style like that's impressive to everyone or something.  Way to go Bro, you're awesome.

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