Saturday, January 29, 2011

The Cannibus Catapult

Washington Post - Drug smugglers are using an ancient invention as a new way to move marijuana across the border from Mexico to Arizona. The discovery of two "drug catapults" in the Mexican state of Sonora marks the latest twist in the cat-and-mouse game traffickers play with authorities.

U.S. National Guard troops operating a remote surveillance system at the Naco Border Patrol Station say they observed several people preparing a catapult and launching packages over the fence late last week.

A Mexican army officer says the 3-yard (3-meter) tall catapult was found about 20 yards (20 meters) from the U.S. border on a flatbed towed by a sports utility vehicle. The officer says the catapult was capable of launching 4.4 pounds (2 kilograms) of marijuana at a time. He says soldiers seized 35 pounds (16 kilograms) of pot, the vehicle and the catapult.
The smugglers left before they could be captured. The surveillance video of them using the catapult was released Wednesday.


Hey, whatever works, Bro.  Simplicity, reliability, the catapult.  However, this particular catapult was not alone.  Officials found a number of other pot catapults in the area since this article was published, who knows how much weed they were tossing, and for how long?  Whatever, welcome to the medieval ages Mexico.

Thanks to Kyle for the tip on the story.

This Week in BroLinks - 1/29/2011

COED Magazine - January 24th was Beer Can Appreciation day.  Here's a bunch of creative tributes to the
suds we all love.

BarstoolU - Probably anyone's favorite professor here at SUNY Cortland in the Sport Management department, until the news broke.  Apparently his efforts were good enough to get him onto BarstoolU's "Professor or Pedophile".  In the red polo, I present Dan DiPerno...

Guyism - Fucking Islanders.  Never have I been more scared to ride in a car than when I'm riding with a Long Islander.  Of course they'll obviously be the first to defend themselves here, but the truth is, as much as they deny it, is that Long Islanders/City-goers are 1000x more aggressive than people in the rest of the state of New York.  Social status was the cause of the entire debacle, big surprise.

COED Magazine - By an author from Ithaca College.  Like IC, Cortland, etc, it's vital to know how to get laid at a house party.  A practical and well written post.  5 rules to help a Bro out.

Deadspin - A number of stories about having sex in hot, shitty port-a-potties.  Would/could you do it?  Can anyone make it past the concealed reek of pure shit and sweat?  A tall task for any Bro.

BroBible - For your next trip to the Big Apple, here's some tips/random facts about the prostitutes.  A Bro in need is a friend indeed.

Barstool NY - Possibly the most publicity that the Lopez show has gotten to this point.  It's literally fucking terrible.  But Brian Wilson is a must-see character any time he makes a public appearance.  Crazy.

Bossip - Sexiest Bro alive? Not with a frowning stomach.

Screen Junkies - Think Sarah Palin is good jack-off material?  You and Tracy Morgan have something in common.  One of the biggest idiots that calls himself a "comedian" gives his input on "Tina Fey or Sarah Plain" on Inside the NBA on TNT.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Ferrell to the Office!

Will Ferrell is The Office's latest sign, jumping on board for the final 4 episodes of this season.  Ferrell will be reuniting with his Anchorman counterpart Steve Carell (Brick) for three episodes, and one episode following Carell's early exit from the show.  Kind of makes you wonder if the show will be coming back with Ferrell, someone else like Ricky Gervais, or not at all. 

We are proud to continue ‘The Office’s’ tradition of discovering famous talent, and we hope that once America gets a good look at Will, they’ll see what we see: tremendous raw sexuality”, said Paul Lieberstein, the Executive Producer of the show who also plays Toby.

In the past The Office has been tricky so I'm not prepared to rule out Ricky Gervais as the next, and original Scranton Branch Manager.  It's possible that Ferrell is just there for ratings and to throw the show's fans off of the fact that Gervais only appeared in the very beginning of this week's episode where he and Michael Scott adored each other's similarities.  Only time will tell what's to come for The Office.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Hold the Pubes

As if New Jersey's Rep isn't bad enough already. A cook from NJ was caught and sentenced to 15 days in jail and 2 years on probation after putting his chest and pubic hair into a customer's sandwich. Wait it gets better, the customer was a cop. He felt that he needed to get back at the cop for locking him up a few months earlier.

On October 12th, the cook pleaded guilty to aggravated assault on a police officer. So when he recognized one of the two cops that came into his restaurant, the cook quickly prepared a special meal for one of New Jersey's finest. A Pubic Sandwich.

Stories like these just make you wonder sometimes what people are thinking. These cops were just trying to have a nice lunch, but instead got a little more than what they ordered. Next time you order a sandwich from there, don't forget to tell the waiter to hold the pubes, Okay Bro?!

Are You Kidding Me Bro?

Huffington Post - Authorities have launched an animal cruelty investigation after a dog was discovered encased inside a block of ice on a British Columbia man's front lawn.The dead dog was discovered by the homeowner on Jan. 15, said Marcie Moriarty, a spokeswoman from the British Columbia animal protection society, adding that the man did not know the dog or how the block of ice arrived on his property.

"It's a bizarre and very upsetting case," Moriarty said Wednesday. "Inside the block of ice, which looks to have been made from a large rubber bin, was the frozen corpse of a medium-sized black dog."

Investigators are trying to determine the cause of death.


Come on world.  Unless this was some crazy pitbull trained by Mike Vick, or a any cat, what's the point?  I've seen dog statues on lawns before, some Bro has one on his lawn in the town next to me.  It lasts longer, and won't rot in the summer.  So there really isn't a perk to having a frozen dog lawn ornament.  I think it would be pretty awesome if the dog woke up like Austin Powers and was perfectly fine, but that's probably not going to happen...  I guess if this Moriarty Bro is in the mob it kind of makes sense.  Instead of a horses head in the bed, its his dog frozen solid in his front yard?  The final sentence in the report is pretty good, "Investigators are trying to determine the cause of death".  He's not frozen in a giant block of ice or anything...

Just in Time for the First Full Weekend Back

Santa Cruz Sentinel - How strange is the emerging world of medical-marijuana entrepreneurship?  Consider Clay Butler, who may soon be marketing a food product that he's never tasted, and that he would never buy. The product is called Canna Cola, and it's a soft drink that contains THC, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana, aimed at medical marijuana dispensaries.


About a week ago I questioned, why isn't there a pot drink?  People proceeded to explain to me how I can make one, but who really wants to go through all that shit?  No instructions needed anymore, big Clay, a straight shooter who only uses any drug like aspirin when he has a headache, has come through in the clutch.  It's supposed to taste good, having less of the marijuana taste than any other pot drinks, so why not give it a shot?  The drinks are expected to run between $10 and $15 per 12 ounce bottle.  Captain & Canna Cola for me this weekend, Sirs.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Bro Tunes: The Script Edition

Another pretty good tune here that was recommended as a Bro Tune, by possibly the new head of The Bro Cave's music posts.  I've always been a B.o.B fan, and was supposed to see him live at Oneonta before those plans fell through.  So that was a bummer, but I might make the trip to Geneseo with a few Bros to check out their spring concert of Ke$ha, B.o.B, and KiD CuDi.  I'm beginning to think Cortland doesn't have anyone close to match that trio at our fellow SUNY school.  Oh well.  Check out The Script, a solid newish band on youtube, iTunes, or here at hotnewhiphop.  Their most well-known song is "Breakeven", one that I'm not a huge fan of, but "Walk Away" featuring B.o.B makes up for it by adding a new dynamic to the pop artist's song.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Bro of the Week: Matt Keck

Yep, this kid lives right next to me... Worst BOTW of all time, but I was desperate.

The Boogie Man

Sadly, the star of this video clip is a former Bro of the Week recipient, Mark Sanchez.  In an obvious break of BroCode, Dirty Sanchez took the liberty to wipe a fresh booger on backup quarterback Mark Brunell.  Brunell is clearly stunned by the action.  I'm kind of curious myself what he said to Mark after that.  Too bad noone asked either of them after being eliminated from the playoffs...

Sunday, January 23, 2011

One Sexy Conference Championship Round

3:00 PM
Green Bay Packers     Vs.     Chicago Bears
   Green Bay Packers               Chicago Bears          

There's been a bunch of talk regarding the condition of soldier field, and how the weather will affect the game.  Here's some news, the Green Bay Packers are playing on the same field as the Bears are on Sunday, not only that but Aaron Rodgers thrives in cold weather situations. 

In cold weather situations, Aaron Rodgers has a 101.5 passer rating in 8 cold-weather situation games, that's before the Wall Street Journal ran an article with 2 weeks remaining in the regular season.  Facing a Giants defense? No problem.  Rodgers was 25-37 for 404 yards and 4 touchdowns.  In his previous game against the Bears, Rodgers threw 19-28 for 229 yards, one touchdown, and one pick, still an 89.7 QB rating.  Next comes the Wild Card game, Rodgers rises to the occasion. 

Jay Cutler on the other hand is Jay Cutler.  One game he'll look like a starting Pro Bowl quarterback, the next he looks like Rob Johnson, cannon arm making terrible decisions.  In his last game facing the Packers in Chicago, week 17, Cutler threw nearly 50%, and 2 interceptions.  Cutler is to risky to rely upon.

Both defenses are amazing, negate each other, so who has the best offense?  The Green Bay Packers.  Who's quarterback consistently rises to the occasion?  The Green Bay Packers.  The Cheeseheads will win this game and cover the spread, but not by much.  The Pack advance to the Super Bowl while covering the spread, 24-17.

Green Bay Packers -3.5

6:30 PM
New York Jets     Vs.     Pittsburgh Steelers
     New York Jets               Pittsburgh Steelers

At the beginning of the season, and throughout the season until now, I didn't think the Jets had it in them to get this far, particularly Mark Sanchez.  There weren't really any questions about the defense which had almost all returners from last year, it was all about the offense.  With an extra year under his belt, Mark's play is noticeably different.  Regrettably, almost all Jet fans are still douchebags.

The past two years, Thomas Jones carried the Jet offense proving to be dangerous as a back on the ground, and out of the backfield as a receiver.  That same offense is not long gone, but it's deep in a transition period.  Instead of it being just Thomas Jones, the load is now split between LaDainian Tomlinson and Shonn Greene.  Offensive Coordinator Brian Schottenheimer is finally beginning to allow quarterback Mark Sanchez more room to grow.  This is the biggest difference in this Jets team compared to last year's team.  If the Jets make it past the Steelers, it will be because of Mark Sanchez. 

Each defense is on the top of their game right now, you know Rex Ryan is going to get his guys fired up.  As fired up as last weekend at New Enlgand?  I think not.  Although I do still think Rapelisberger has the upper hand on Sanchez overall as a quarterback, I'm going to say the Sanchise rises to the occasion like he has all year.  The Jets also have Santonio Holmes returning to Pittsburgh this week look for a big win against his former team.  He has already become Sanchez's go-to target.  Look for this connection to be the deciding factor in the game.  However, if the game comes down to a field goal by Nick Folk from 40 or more yards, the Jets will lose.  He deserves to be a NFL kicker and much as Matt Dodge deserves to be a NFL punter.  I pick the Jets to win this game 24-21 (hopefully me picking them to win for once will mean they lose). 

New York Jets -4