Saturday, June 11, 2011

Keep Your Eye on the Ball: The Stuart Scott Story

It's finally time bros. The wait is no longer. I am about to let you guys in on a little secret that every sports fan wants to know. This untouchable gem of information is not only a great piece of knowledge to pass down to the children; but is the next big icebreaker, pick up line and family dinner conversation piece. It's a question that every single sports fan has asked themselves 1000 times. Ready? The question is: What the hell happened to Stuart Scott's eye?! Is it lazy? Is it glass? I don't know, but it stares at me half the time and my dad across the room the other half. Stuart Scott is such a bro, but unfortunately loses some credit for how he became Snake Eyes Scott.

Scott has had eye problems his entire life but he didn't become an eye sore (awesome pun) until 2002 while doing a story for ESPN. Scott was out participating in the New York Jets mini camp to show viewers the life of a NFL player during camp. Scott was participating in wide receiver drills and was supposedly not to shabby until he had to take a turn with the Juggs Machine. God damn the Juggs Machine. The speed spitting, anchor hating monster, is something we've all seen; it's used in baseball and football to shoot balls at high speeds. Scott went up to the machine and stood way to close and got rocked square in the eye with a football. He immediately fell to the floor. He required over 10 eye surgeries after the incident and it is still in fact his real eye.

I can not believe that warlock is his real eye. Either way, I am so relieved and a little disappointed that I now know how Scott received his wandering eye. I mean, I have an easy way to start conversation at the bar, "Yo Girl, you know Stuart Scott's eye? Yeah, I know what happened to it", but the magical lore of not knowing is just gone. It's bittersweet. Well, now all of you finally know the truth of Stuart Scott; he just couldn't keep his eye on the ball.