Friday, February 25, 2011

Does Funneling Two Four Lokos in 10 Seconds Get This Bro Laid?

Stupid.  I wouldn't be surprised if he landed in the hospital after this stunt.  On the other hand I know that I've referred to it before, but a friend of mine drank 2 Lokos (1400 calories) in about 30 minutes a few weeks ago.  This resulted in him not making it out to the bars that night of course.

Instead, he passed out laying in his own vomit in the basement of SUNY Cortland's dining hall, Neubig hall.  He was face down in the bathroom of the closed dining hall (that is oddly located in the basement), and woke up to darkness, in a strange place at 1:00 AM.  Pretty Loko shit if I do say so myself.

Basically, whether the Bro in this video was functioning 15 minutes later or not, he deserves to get laid for the story and the live recording of it.  I know people who can't even funnel a beer, which does sound ridiculous especially for college standards, but it's true.  This Bro possesses a one-of-a-kind skill, and he deserves some kind of an award.  Props Bro.

Thanks to Ben for the Tip.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

BroTunes: Lupe Edition

Lately the BroCave has been on the underground shit. But this time we're gonna go mainstream with Lupe Fiasco. I've loved this guy way back from the "Kick Push" and "Daydreamin'" days...unfortunately he faded from the spotlight for a little but man is he back! With this song, along with "Show Goes On" and "Words I Never Said" Lupe is heading to the top of the music industry. Everyday I wait for a new song to leak off of his Lasers album. The album releases early next month and I guarantee that within the first week he has the #1 selling album. I know its early to predict, but I wouldnt be surprised if the guy wins album of the year at the Grammy's. Lupe continues to spit straight fire! With great beats, great feature artists and meaningful lyrics, Lupe is at the top of the hip-hop game. This guy is the real shit!

Is This Shit Real?

The only thing running through my mind right now... ARE YOU KIDDING ME BRO!?  The company that designs this headwear is called SpiritHoods.  I took a look at the price of this hat-mitten combo bullshit, it's $129,  $129 for one men's SpiritHood.  Bros, if you're caught wearing one of these you're just way too desperate for some attention. 

Maybe if you're actually considering one of these you think, "Oh it's $129 because of the fur".  Well that isn't quite the case since each one of these is made of the "finest faux fur".  Trust me, I'm all for cutting down on the animal slaying especially for the sole purpose of getting an animal's fur, but I don't understand how this manufacturer actually expects the consumer to pay so much for fake fur.  Please don't let me see you in one of these... disgusting.

P.S. - Is this multi-colored eye guy freaking anyone else out?  No big deal, just a random shirtless dude with a pedophile-grip on some child.  I don't know what's worse, the implications of this snapshot or the "SpiritHoods".  Poor kid...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Do it eBay!

People close to me know how much I enjoy eBay.  It's gotten to a point where I actually don't remember the last time that I stepped foot in a clothing or sporting goods store.  I suppose the benefits of physically going to a store are having the ability to try on an item if it's clothing, and physically bring the item home upon purchase.  But if you know your size, exactly you want, enjoy saving money, and can wait less than a week for the object, use eBay. 

Like most golfers, I have the idea that a new club will help my game improve.  My latest purchase is a 2010 Taylor Made Burner Superfast Driver.  This club would generally cost about $200 new in a store like Dicks Sporting Goods today.  The club I bought is gently used, reshafted to fit a player like myself, and has a new grip.  I paid about $75 for the driver, that receives 4.5 out of 5 stars in reviews.  I'm still awaiting the arrival, but it's not like I would use it in the current 20 degree weather anyway.  The whole point of buying now is so I could beat the rush of other golfer's competition for the same club.  I'm eager to try it, and hoping that even if I don't like it, I can go ahead and resell it for more money than I paid on eBay because I got such a great deal. 

The point of this post is to establish the fact that if you want to have nice things, but don't like wasting a ton of cash, eBay is the best alternative to shopping at what I see as the stores of over-charging corporations.  Random, I know, but before you make your next purchase of something you really want, take a peek on eBay first, you'll be thrilled with what you find.  Brobama out.

Bro of the Week: Mikhail Prokhorov

Some may say Brobama, "Why is Mikhail Prokhorov the Bro of the Week?" Others may say, "Who the fuck is Mikhail Prokhorov?"  He is the multi-billionaire, Russian majority owner of the New Jersey Nets by an 80% stake.

Often America is not used to his aggressive style of business, but I love it!  This guy has actually said in high profile interviews that he enjoys watching the New York Knicks suffer.  By understanding that giving up on the Carmelo Anthony chase would make it easier for the Knicks to acquire Melo, Prokhorov went out of his way to make it more difficult.  It's easy to get in a trance of the media conveying a very politically correct, friendly business atmosphere between many sports organizations internally, so it is relieving to see that someone has an edge.

Most NBA owners resemble a Johnnie Walker Blue Label on the rocks, and Mikhail Prokhorov is changing it up by hauling in the hookers & Stoli.  Prokhorov has yet to strike success in America, but he is becoming more of an innovator in controlling a professional sports franchise with every passing day.

More news has been breaking that Prokhorov insists it is a win-win situation for the Nets whether they acquire Carmelo or not, as long as it's harder on the Knickerbockers.  Now that the Knicks have officially traded for the rights of Carmelo Anthony, it's apparent that the Nets are targeting all of the players that the Knicks just traded to the Denver Nuggets in the "Melo-Drama". 

How nabbing former Knicks players from the Nuggets will help the Nets, I'm not sure, but the thought is there.  The Nets may or may not make a move before the trade deadline to acquire Danilo Gallinari or Raymond Felton, but a move will be made for someone.  It's hard to imagine that someone as successful as Mikhail Prokhorov has ever lost in his life, and he has brought that same must-win attitude to America and the NBA.  He will do whatever it takes to win.

Prokhorov got to this high point as one of Russia's leading industrialists in the precious metals sector, running Norilsk Nickel, and as chairman of Polyus Gold.   But who really cares about that?  Now he's out to screw the Knicks, he's sipping champagne with Jay-Z, and ordering prostitutes for Christmas parties.  Does life get any better for a Bro?  I say no.  The world's 39th richest man, Михаил Прохоров, is your Bro of the Week.