Bro of the Week: Jacques Caron

Welcome former professional hockey player, and goaltending coach for the New Jersey Devils, Jacques Caron to The BroCave.  From the moment I met this man bearing the Stanley Cup at a local restaurant, it was clear to me that he is a boss. As goaltending coach for the New Jersey Devils in their prime years, he is often credited with recognizing Martin Brodeur's talent, and turning it into success, acting as a father figure to Brodeur.  During his tenure on the Devils staff, Caron has won 3 Stanley Cups.

Now Jacques still serves as a contributing assistant to the Devils, but at the spritely age of 71, his role is limited.  After 71 years, this legend finally played beer pong for the first time.  On the shores of Cayuga Lake, it was only fitting that Jacques paired up with former Bro of the Week, Bennett Myer.  After "Team Bro's" stunning loss in the intense battle of Caron's first game of BP he claimed, "I'm a defensive player, but I really thought I had a few."  As you can see from the video, Mr. Caron didn't take the loss lightly, leaving after not sinking a single cup.  But with a cougar in one hand, and a full SOLO cup of wine in the other, he taught Bros everywhere a valuable lesson: you're never too old to party.  That makes the 71 year old, 3 time Stanley Cup winner, beer pong playing, cougar killer Jacques Caron the newest Bro of the Week.

Bro of the Week: A Pong Legend in the Making

It's been about a week since I've posted anything on The BroCave, having more important things to deal with like a much needed vacation.  It has been even longer since anyone has been named Bro of the Week.  I'll keep it short and sweet, this time I'm going to shake things up a bit with the choice being a 12 year old pong Jedi master.

There are so many different videos of pong trick shots over and over again, but you've got to give credit when credit is due. I don't know whats more sad, the fact that this kid would run the table on me, or that he spent so much time assembling obstacle courses and practicing these shots.  If this little bro had no friends before this video, then he sure as shit should now.  This is for middle schoolers everywhere, if you don't know this kid, get to.  You're looking at the beer pong table's best prospect for the next 15 years.  Props to the little sniper Bro, the newest Bro of the Week and eventual BPHOFer (Beer Pong Hall of Famer).

Bro of the Week: Mikhail Prokhorov

Some may say Brobama, "Why is Mikhail Prokhorov the Bro of the Week?" Others may say, "Who the fuck is Mikhail Prokhorov?"  He is the multi-billionaire, Russian majority owner of the New Jersey Nets by an 80% stake.

Often America is not used to his aggressive style of business, but I love it!  This guy has actually said in high profile interviews that he enjoys watching the New York Knicks suffer.  By understanding that giving up on the Carmelo Anthony chase would make it easier for the Knicks to acquire Melo, Prokhorov went out of his way to make it more difficult.  It's easy to get in a trance of the media conveying a very politically correct, friendly business atmosphere between many sports organizations internally, so it is relieving to see that someone has an edge.

Most NBA owners resemble a Johnnie Walker Blue Label on the rocks, and Mikhail Prokhorov is changing it up by hauling in the hookers & Stoli.  Prokhorov has yet to strike success in America, but he is becoming more of an innovator in controlling a professional sports franchise with every passing day.

More news has been breaking that Prokhorov insists it is a win-win situation for the Nets whether they acquire Carmelo or not, as long as it's harder on the Knickerbockers.  Now that the Knicks have officially traded for the rights of Carmelo Anthony, it's apparent that the Nets are targeting all of the players that the Knicks just traded to the Denver Nuggets in the "Melo-Drama". 

How nabbing former Knicks players from the Nuggets will help the Nets, I'm not sure, but the thought is there.  The Nets may or may not make a move before the trade deadline to acquire Danilo Gallinari or Raymond Felton, but a move will be made for someone.  It's hard to imagine that someone as successful as Mikhail Prokhorov has ever lost in his life, and he has brought that same must-win attitude to America and the NBA.  He will do whatever it takes to win.

Prokhorov got to this high point as one of Russia's leading industrialists in the precious metals sector, running Norilsk Nickel, and as chairman of Polyus Gold.   But who really cares about that?  Now he's out to screw the Knicks, he's sipping champagne with Jay-Z, and ordering prostitutes for Christmas parties.  Does life get any better for a Bro?  I say no.  The world's 39th richest man, Михаил Прохоров, is your Bro of the Week.

Bro of the Week: Aaron Rodgers

Not a real exciting Bro of the Week, I know.  Of course it's hard to live up to losing your two front teeth and not knowing how it happened.  But it was the Super Bowl, Aaron Rodgers is a Bro, and he kicked ass.  Against the number 1 ranked Pittsburgh Steeler defense whom only allowed 15 touchdowns all season, Rodgers threw for 304 yards, and 3 touchdowns.  Not only that, but he hasn't been involved in any sexual assault cases thus far in his career, a feat that is truly becoming hard to find in starting NFL quarterbacks.

Then again, I don't think his receivers are getting enough credit because of our society being so quarterback oriented.  Greg Jennings wouldn't have had a good game if it weren't for half of his receptions being touchdowns (2).  4 receptions is by no means a Greg Jennings game, but Jordy Nelson stepped up and made up for him.  Nelson caught 9 balls for 140 yards and a touchdown.  The only reason I'm actually writing about the recievers is so I could post the famous Greg Jennings, broken leg touchdown video.  "Fuck you Gumby!"

But back to the Bro, props to A-Rodg for a game and season well played despite people doubting him throughout the entire season.  It's about time more of those #4 jerseys start disappearing for Lambeau.  Lombardi trophy, Super Bowl MVP, Championship Belt, and now, Bro of the Week, Aaron Rodgers is going to Disney World.

Bro of the Week: Wild-Thing

...You make every porn star sing.  Bree Olson, Capri Anderson, Kacey Jordan, and the list goes on.  Bro makes $1.8 million for each Two and a Half Men episode he shoots. So why is everybody making a big deal about him spending $26 thousand in one day on prostitutes? Who cares that he paid pornstar Kacey Jordan $30 thousand for one night?  Well apparently it was the suitcase of cocaine that's a big deal.  I myself am not a sniffer, would never do coke or any hard drugs for that matter, but hey, you only live once.  This guy has more fun in one weekend then I will my entire life.  Now, welcome to rehab.  There's no pounding pornstars and full glasses of straight vodka in recovery.

Apparently he's destined to be the next Hef?  A 27 room mansion, Bentley for each girl, Hef is running on straight Viagra right now.  It's about time for someone to step up to the plate.  If he successfully overcomes his insane party binges, you're looking at the new Hugh Hefner. 

By the way, she definitely blew him in the theatre.  Next weekend is dedicated to Sheen, if he can't party, The BroCave will for him.  Here's to the next Playboy King Charlie Sheen, the Bro of the Week.

That's More Like it

If this video wasn't two years old, this would absolutely be a Bro of the Week nomination.  More than half the kids in college today haven't done a keg-stand in their life, and 83 year old Ethel is showing them how it's done.   She was hitting up kegs when they were still wooden.  She made kegs her bitch before America had all 50 states. This is just another example of the pussification of America.  Next time you're peer pressured to do a keg-stand, don't pussy out, if an 83 year old woman can do it, you can do it.  Sack up Bros.

Bro of the Week: Mark Sanchez

The New York Jets should have lost their last 5 games, but insteadthey are 4-1 in their past 5 games.  Say what you want about the Jets D, but it just isn't there like it was last year.  I've noticed first hand by having them on two fantasy football teams that they really aren't the same.  Now the defense only barely keeps the team in the game, and last year it was the sole reason the Jets made the playoffs. 

Is Mark Sanchez the next Bro Namath?  Honestly he'll probably be better, and it's sad that he's known as the Jets greatest quarterback.  Namath's numbers were terrible throwing nearly 50 more picks than touchdowns in his career, and finishing with a 50% completion percentage. 

Mark Sanchez is the reason the Jets are winning games, leading 5 game winning drives at the end of games this year already.  So as much as it pains me to declare a New York Jet Bro of the week, it has to be done.  Congrats to mark Sanchez on earning the Bro of the Week.  Eat shit next week.

Bro of the Week: Michael Vick

So Mikey killed dogs.  That shit makes me sick.  But you know what doesn't?  Vick shitting all over fantasy football owners everywhere that thought they had their week clinched.  Not on the Dog Whisperer's watch!  Six total touchdowns tonight, over 300 yards passing, and 80 yards rushing.  BEAST.  The guy is clearly one of the most gifted athletes of the 2000s, and Vick fighting back like he has is a  story of heart and great ambition.  However, that will not stop me from buying one of these chew toys for my little homedog Buddy.  Props to the creator of this chew toy too.