Friday, October 14, 2011

Escape From New York

It is a 363 mile drive from the Buffalo Bills home turf of Ralph Wilson Stadium in Orchard Park, NY to Metlife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ; stomping ground of the New York Giants. For many years the Bills faithful have made the standstill argument that the Buffalo Bills are the only "true" New York team because of Metlife Stadium’s location within New Jersey state lines.

Matching up for only the third time in over ten years, the often harmless Upstate New York team now has the opportunity to prove their worthiness for recognition as New York State's sole NFL team.  The only difference is this year, the Bills have found a consistent quarterback.

Enter Ryan Fitzpatrick, a prominent leader of this Cinderella team.  After beginning the season on fire statistically, Fitzpatrick has since come back down to earth, but has continued doing nothing but the right things to lead his team to victory.  Although he may not have the fire that Snake Plissken possessed in the 1980s classic film "Escape From New York", the "Amish Rifle" has consistently provided a spark for his Bills.

Despite the Buffalo Bills (4-1) coming off a big win, they travel to New York as underdogs to face a Giants team (3-2) trying to regain their footing after a crushing loss to the Seattle Seahawks.

Following the week 5 defeat, Giants Head Coach Tom Coughlin stated what he has sought to improve during this week’s practices. "We didn't complement each other at all today. This week the sloppiness of the game, the turnovers, you know you are not going to win when you are handing people the ball (at) point blank range."

Most NFL fans are well aware of the struggles that the New York Giants have had turning the ball over. However, few and far between are conscious of the Bills' league leading +11 turnover differential this season (16 total takeaways).

Through 5 weeks of football, the Giants are still winless over a team with a winning record, a fact that favors the AFC East's first place Bills, especially if the "G-Men" are unable to minimize their giveaways.

After the Bills key win over the Philadelphia Eagles, team-captain George Wilson declared, "When you make mistakes, it’s alright to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. We learned from those mistakes a year ago."

Five weeks into the regular season, the Bills have already met their win total from 2010. However, the Bills are still on the prowl to prove their belonging as an upper echelon NFL team.  Keep an eye out for Ryan "Snake Plissken" Fitzpatrick to ignite his team's fire in this week 6 showdown.

The Buffalo Bills will attempt to "Escape From New York" (New Jersey) with a win over the Giants at 1:00 ET on CBS.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Week 5 Winners & Losers: The City That Never Sleeps

The Biggest Loser: New York City

Could all of the losing be the reason for New York City waking up in their sleep tonight?  New York's NHL Islanders and Rangers failed to combine for a win on Saturday, but the losing didn't stop there.  The Jets entered a game versus the New England Patriots that only few expected them to win.  The overall performance was again unimpressive, causing one to ask, "Did Rex Ryan guarantee the Super Bowl, or the sewer hole?"  The 2-3 New York Jets now have a stonghold on 3rd place in the AFC East, ahead of only the 0-4 Miami Dolphins. 

Onto the New York football Giants... hmph.  The Seattle Seahawks are not a good
football team.  Charlie Whitehurst is not a good quarterback.  Any New York sports fan can say what they want about injuries, Eli Manning, etc.  The truth is, whether Eli Manning makes one of those throws at the end of a game that is as handsome as he, or a receiver knocks a pass right into the opponent's arms, the G-Men just can't finish.  Luckily the Buffalo Bills defeated the Eagles, giving the Giants one less thing to worry about for the time being.  However, next week will bring that same Bills team to the Meadowlands in a test of each team's abilities to finish.

Winner: Oakland Raiders
As strange as it may sound, even though they are among this week's top losers (Al Davis), the Oakland Raiders were also among this week's top winners. After the death of Owner Al Davis, I was certain the Raiders would come out to perform. The impressive part about this win wasn't that the Raiders won by way of Darren McFadden, who was seemingly shut down by the Houston Texans run defense all day. Jason Campbell didn't throw for half as many yards as Matt Schaub, but Al Davis' team hung tough, and he led them to victory. We will see this team in the playoffs.

Loser: Philadelphia Eagles
Before the start of the season the Philadelphia Eagles were pinned as the NFL's "Dream Team". With week 5 complete and a record of 1-4, all they can do is dream of fulfilling that nickname.  The talent is there, now it's just a matter of putting it all together.  All eyes are on Andy Reid, his struggling offensive line, and the questionable hiring of Defensive Coordinator Juan Castillo.  If the beaten & battered Eagles don't right the ship in week 6 against the division rival Washington Redskins, all hope is lost.  The Andy Reid era is on the verge of coming to an end.

Winner: Tim Tebow & the Denver Broncos (possibly)I'm tempted to call the Denver Broncos as a whole losers only because they gave quarterback Tim Tebow his shot at the end of last season, saw that he could be successful, yet still benched him this year.  After Kyle Orton chipped in a mere 34 yards, and one interception passing in the first half, he was pulled, and Tebow, not Brady Quinn, got his second shot.  Broncos fans want it, Jesus fans want it, and Tebow now has a chip on his shoulder bigger than ever.  The best part about Tebow is that throughout college, through his few games playing in the NFL, Tebow didn't win by "throwing the right way", or being a "pocket passer", he plays the game as a pure competitor.  If the Broncos stick with Tebow, together, they are winners.

Loser: Matty Ice & the Atlanta Falcons
Just a year after reaching the NFC Championship game, the Falcons have now dropped to 2-3.  Once a prospective candidate for this year's MVP, the Falcon offense has yet to get on track.  Atlanta showed some signs of life Sunday Night.... for one quarter, then seemingly fell into a numb state.  To make matters worse, Julio Jones was taken into the locker room in the second half with one of those dangerously lingering hamstring injuries.  Next week Atlanta faces a sexy offense led by Cam Newton, can the Falcons keep up?

Winner: Kansas City Chiefs
In the first two weeks of the season, the Chiefs allowed 89 points against.  Since those troubles, this team has overcome injuries to Jamaal Charles and Tony Moeaki, key components to an offense that is showing new signs of life.  Granted it was a winless team that the Chiefs defeated this week, Matt Cassel earned some swag points throwing for 4 touchdowns (Dwayne Bowe & Steve Breaston each grabbing 2), and RB Jackie Battle ran the ball 19 times for 119 yards.  Don't get used to it, but at least Kansas City had something to cheer about today.

Follow me on Twitter @RealDaveBarnick

Monday, September 26, 2011

I Bill-ieve In Miracles

Calling all fans of the mucial group Hot Chocolate, I do "Bill-ieve" in miracles, but this is not something of the kind.  For the second straight week, the resilient Buffalo Bills have managed a comeback after facing an improbable deficit of 18 or more points in the first half.  But this week, versus the New England Patriots, it was more than just a game. In what could prove to be a defining moment, the beginning of a new era if you will, the "No-Name-Bills" have passed their first true test that vouches for belonging among the list of 2011's elite NFL teams.

It is these same unlikely "No-Name-Bills" that now hold the only 3-0 record in the AFC of the National Football League.  Who would have thunk?

The national disrespect of the Bills' talent because the lack of name recognition adds fuel to the fire for the team.  Starting quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, a 7th round pick, and the first Harvard quarterback to throw a pass for a Pro-Football game in more than 40 years, has "Bill-ieved" from the very beginning.

Confirming his awareness of the underappreciation, Fitzpatrick notes, “Everyone’s been making a big deal about us not having any big names and we are the no-names. In the outside world we’re nothing. Nobody believes in us. We feed off of that.”

Division III Coe College's Fred Jackson, another oft-overlooked player, has endured a roller-coaster ride to the spotlight.  Deservingly, without the likes of Marshawn Lynch around, the starting running back position is now securely held in Jackson's grasp. 

Some say, "With money comes power", but for the 4th leading rusher in the NFL after week 3, he righteously has been hinting "With power comes money".  His age is 30, which is widely considered the age that NFL running backs begin breaking down.  However, more than anything, Jackson shows signs of youth. Through week 3 "F-Jax" has compiled 303 yards (6.4 ypa) on the ground, and 115 yards receiving (14.4 ypc), looking stronger and more focused than ever.

Although one could argue that he is the most important part of this Bills team, Jackson will earn a salary of $1.75 million in 2011, tenth most on the team.  It is hard to recall if there were ever a more appropriate time for Bills owner Ralph Wilson Jr. to break the bank.

“We’re just a bunch of undrafted guys and seventh-round picks. We want to show we can play against anybody – the Patriots, whatever.” 

Ironically, it looks like the misfits might be just the right fit.  If Buffalo's General Manager Buddy Nix is smart (which will be another test of the new era Bills) they will continue to exercise contract negotiations to lock-down offensive standouts Ryan Fitzpatrick, Fred Jackson, and Stevie Johnson (2008 7th Round Pick - Kentucky).

It's been 11 years since the Bills have circled the wagons like this.  Perhaps the undefeated, number 1 scoring offense in the NFL can finally break that playoff draught this season. 

Defensive leader (and Super Bowl Champion) Nick Barnett explains, "It’s too early to talk about we're going to the Super Bowl or this and that. We still got some growth to do. But I think we're playing [well]. If the offense keeps putting up 30 points, there’s no way we should lose, ever." 

I think I can speak for all of the Buffalo faithful when saying, we "Bill-ieve" in miracles, you sexy thing.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Best Burger I've Ever Eaten

          A few days ago I enjoyed an excellent burger at my workplace (Kidder's Landing), loaded with grilled shrimp, guacamole, crispy bacon, carmelized onions, and pepperjack cheese.  Let's just say the cooks take care of me. This concoction had me thinking, "What is the best burger I've ever eaten?"  It's tough to remember every piece of meat and cheese between two buns that I have consumed, so I'm going to shoot from the hip here with my best burger, and special mention that come to mind right away.

SPECIAL MENTION. - The Glenwood Pines - The "Pinesburger" - Ithaca, NY

          As a local that grew up just minutes from The Pines which overlooks Cayuga Lake, it's hard for me not to list the classic "Pinesburger" number 1 on my list, but I must remain unbiased.  Unlike my typical favorite sandwiches, this burger's glory is not based on size (which does matter).  The Pines stacks a smokey 6 ounce hand-formed patty, crisp local lettuce, tomato, and onion on a freshly baked Ithaca Bakery roll. To top it all off you have a choice of slathering mayo or thousand island dressing inside the roll, although the thousand island dressing adds the sweet element that completes the package and is essential for any first timer to try.  How can you argue against Ithaca, NY's voted Best Burger year after year, especially for only $5.50?

          Also, try the 4-Pinesburger Challenge (take down 4 Pinesburgers in under an hour) and land your photo on the restaurant's Facebook Wall of Fame. $18.50.

NUMERO UNO - The Counter Burger - Name Your Burger - Reston, VA (31 Locations)

          The small chain hailing from California provides limitless options - almost.  The restaurant boasts more than 312,120 different burger combinations, and also manages to keep returning customers on their toes by making "market selection" items available.  This adds yet another option to each category (burger, cheese, topping, sauce, bun). The first time I was taken to "The Counter" I had my doubts, but they were soon eaten up & away. 

          Counter Burger begins by giving you the option of type (angus beef, chicken, turkey, veggie, or market selection) and then asks the desired total patty weight; 1/3 lb, 2/3 lb, or 1 lb... after it's cooked.  Obviously I was ready to take down the biggest burger I could get my paws on, but was talked into sticking with the 2/3 lb angus beef burger. This is where things get interesting, from cheese, to topping, to sauce, Counter Burger provides nearly any desired high quality topping to really make the burger YOUR burger.  Oh, and if you think you still might be hungry, give the Parmesan French Fries a go, prepare to have your tastebuds blown.

MY BURGER - 2/3 lb Angus Beef, Tillamook Cheddar Cheese, Grilled Onions, Organic Mixed Greens, Roasted Corn & Black Bean Salsa, Roasted Red Peppers, Fried Egg,
Chipotle Aioli, on a Classic Hamburger Bun. - $11.50

This burger, "My Burger", is the best burger I've ever eaten.  What will be on "Your Burger"?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

BroTunes: IanJ

This bro from Louisville, KY has released two mixtapes so far, both co-sponsored by G.M.A.D. & FratMusic.  The name is kind of bland, but the music ain't, and that's what really matters.  In IanJ's past two mixtapes (Summer Lights, and LikeIanJ) successful songs have been taken to the next level of entertainment through smooth flow and sensible lyrics.  I've been caught up in "Hello", and "What Do You Want (Que Veux Tu)" from the Summer Lights mixtape.  Check out the feel good rap-pop hybrid and show your support on Facebook.

Download the mixtape Summer Lights here.

Download the mixtape LikeIanJ here.

Friday, July 1, 2011

The Top 10 Classic Seinfeld Scenes

With so many classic scenes to choose from, it wasn't easy, and I needed some help.  But without further hesitation, here are the top 10 Seinfeld scenes of all time.  It's a Festivus miracle!

1.)           The Contest - Who is master of his (and her) domain?

2.)           Soup Nazi - No soup for you!!!

3.)           The Junior Mint - "They’re very refreshing!"

4.)           The Hamptons - Shrinkage, need I say more?

5.)           The Marine Biologist - George finds himself caught in a lie, on top of a whale. The self-proclaimed Marine Biologist saves the whale from a Titleist.

6.)           Muffin Tops - “Top of the Muffin to You!” Everyone, even the homeless shelter, is offended by the offering of muffin stumps. Alongside a glass of milk, Newman is the hero.

7.)           The Alternate Side - “These Pretzels, are making me thirsty!”

8.)           The Bro - A BroCave classic! “A Bra is for ladies, meet ‘The Bro’.”

9.)           The Face Painter - Puddy paints his face in support for the New Jersey Devils. “El Diablo!”

10.)     The Jimmy - Famous musician Mel Tormé dedicates his standby song When You're Smiling, to a joyous slurring Kramer at a benefit for the Able Mentally Challenged Adults (AMCA).

Monday, June 27, 2011

Are You Kidding Me Bro?

This is "that guy", the living autograph.  He arrives so drunk that he may or may not knock the final pong cup off the table, losing his team the game.  Actually there's no doubt, that is what happens, it did happen.  But you know what, Goldilocks had a solid night, look at that smile next to the sharpie penis on his face, shooting into his mouth.  Classic. 

Meanwhile, his hombre was taking 40 drinks to the face.  Truth, 1.5 liters of no-name rum devoured by a one man army.  That's pretty irrelevant but it deserved a mention, especially since frank the tank freaked out exorcist/Blair witch style at 4:30 am.

Anywho, only a Bro would go this hard, and I couldn't help giving him the honor of The BroCave post.  Props to the one they call "Milldew" for letting go, and landing a solid drunk smack to the face on his best friend, that will teach him to... not draw on you?  Give this guy the keys!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Keep Your Eye on the Ball: The Stuart Scott Story

It's finally time bros. The wait is no longer. I am about to let you guys in on a little secret that every sports fan wants to know. This untouchable gem of information is not only a great piece of knowledge to pass down to the children; but is the next big icebreaker, pick up line and family dinner conversation piece. It's a question that every single sports fan has asked themselves 1000 times. Ready? The question is: What the hell happened to Stuart Scott's eye?! Is it lazy? Is it glass? I don't know, but it stares at me half the time and my dad across the room the other half. Stuart Scott is such a bro, but unfortunately loses some credit for how he became Snake Eyes Scott.

Scott has had eye problems his entire life but he didn't become an eye sore (awesome pun) until 2002 while doing a story for ESPN. Scott was out participating in the New York Jets mini camp to show viewers the life of a NFL player during camp. Scott was participating in wide receiver drills and was supposedly not to shabby until he had to take a turn with the Juggs Machine. God damn the Juggs Machine. The speed spitting, anchor hating monster, is something we've all seen; it's used in baseball and football to shoot balls at high speeds. Scott went up to the machine and stood way to close and got rocked square in the eye with a football. He immediately fell to the floor. He required over 10 eye surgeries after the incident and it is still in fact his real eye.

I can not believe that warlock is his real eye. Either way, I am so relieved and a little disappointed that I now know how Scott received his wandering eye. I mean, I have an easy way to start conversation at the bar, "Yo Girl, you know Stuart Scott's eye? Yeah, I know what happened to it", but the magical lore of not knowing is just gone. It's bittersweet. Well, now all of you finally know the truth of Stuart Scott; he just couldn't keep his eye on the ball.


Saturday, June 4, 2011

Bro of the Week: Jacques Caron

Welcome former professional hockey player, and goaltending coach for the New Jersey Devils, Jacques Caron to The BroCave.  From the moment I met this man bearing the Stanley Cup at a local restaurant, it was clear to me that he is a boss. As goaltending coach for the New Jersey Devils in their prime years, he is often credited with recognizing Martin Brodeur's talent, and turning it into success, acting as a father figure to Brodeur.  During his tenure on the Devils staff, Caron has won 3 Stanley Cups.

Now Jacques still serves as a contributing assistant to the Devils, but at the spritely age of 71, his role is limited.  After 71 years, this legend finally played beer pong for the first time.  On the shores of Cayuga Lake, it was only fitting that Jacques paired up with former Bro of the Week, Bennett Myer.  After "Team Bro's" stunning loss in the intense battle of Caron's first game of BP he claimed, "I'm a defensive player, but I really thought I had a few."  As you can see from the video, Mr. Caron didn't take the loss lightly, leaving after not sinking a single cup.  But with a cougar in one hand, and a full SOLO cup of wine in the other, he taught Bros everywhere a valuable lesson: you're never too old to party.  That makes the 71 year old, 3 time Stanley Cup winner, beer pong playing, cougar killer Jacques Caron the newest Bro of the Week.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Super Man Hangs Up His Cape

The big Bro king himself, Shaquille O'Neal, retired from the game on Wednesday after 19 seasons in the NBA. Shaq gave news of his retirement in style by use of the new social media service, Tout, a real time video messaging site. Always an innovator, the Big Diesel finished his career with 15 NBA All-Star appearances, 28,596 points, 3 NBA Finals MVP awards, the 2000 NBA MVP award, 1993 rookie of the year award, and over 6 different nick-names. The 39 year old stated his reason for retirement adding, "Father Time has caught up with Shaquille O'Neal." There is no doubt in my mind that he will be truly missed.

Oh no, does this mean his acting/rapping/police career is over too? Honestly though, Shaq was a man amongst boys during his time. The dude is 7 ft 1, 325 lbs; a living monster. His antics and entertainment ploys would never have been accepted if he didn't have the game to back it up; but he did. Shaq is hands down the best pure center to ever play the game and a sure first ballot, Hall of Famer. A four time NBA champion (three with the Lakers, one with the Heat) and fifth all time in scoring, Shaquille O'Neal is the ultimate bro.

Shaq it's been real, you have never ceased to stop entertaining me. I wont lie, I might have gotten a little tired of seeing your face after your latest "Shaq vs." reality stunt, but that doesn't change your legacy. You were the best; you can ball, act, kind of rap, and the fact that you can be unlocked in the UFC video game is beyond awesome. I'll miss you man and I hope Shazzam is aired on repeat for the next week. Enjoy the retirement big guy.


Friday, May 27, 2011

Bro Tunes: Millz

In this edition of Bro Tunes, we have Shamar Dozier, aka Millz. This PA young gun began rapping for kicks before the beginning of his Junior year of high school, and now at the age of only 17, he's beginning to take it seriously. Millz pumps out as many as 5 songs per day, using his own equipment (laptop and mic), and will finally be getting into a professional studio this summer.

Meanwhile, he's fresh off a release of his most recent mixtape, "Chapter 4: Highschool Sweetheart", which was released yesterday. Check his beats on YouTube or HotNewHipHop, and support Millz with a Like on Facebook. Coming soon to an iPod near you: Millz.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Josh Elliot: The Ultimate Bro Traitor

Former "SportsCenter" anchor, Josh Elliot, left ESPN this month to be the new host of ABC's, "Good Morning America". Elliot joined ESPN in 2004 as a guest panelist for "Around the Horn" and "Jim Rome is Burning". Making his mark on sports fans around the nation, Elliot quickly became the morning co-host of the number one watched show, "SportsCenter" just four years later. ESPN bids Josh a nice farewell and good fortune at his new job.

Josh Elliot what the hell is wrong with you?! You had the greatest job in the world and threw it away for what? Sipping morning coffee with the girls, discussing your monthly cycles? I'm ashamed. Your job consisted of delivering sports to the world with some of the hottest middle aged co-anchors (Hannah Storm) and hanging out with everyone's favorite athletes. People would have killed to be you, but that's all gone now. I hope Sam Champion and the gang welcomed you with open arms because you will never be welcomed back into the sports world. I almost looked up to you bro, almost.

Josh I wish I could bid you farewell but instead I just have to shake my head and wonder why. Why give up every sports fans dream? If Good Morning America is really all you've ever wanted then I feel sorry for you and your family. The ridicule your children must be receiving in school has to be off the charts. While you've baffled me, I'm sure stay at home moms around the nation are cheering for you. You had it all, Ultimate Bro-traitor.


Thank You, Gracias, Merci!

The BroCave has now officially been viewed each country in North America multiple times, including being viewed in each state of the USA multiple times, and has spanned widely across South America and Europe.  Thank you for the continued support to anyone who has read once in a while, all the time, or doubted The BroCave right from the beginning. 

But it doesn't stop here.  Up until a week ago, The BroCave has been a one man show, designed, operated, and written by myself.  I now welcome Cody Carbone (Broverload) to the scene, and have 3 more potential writers interested in contributing.  The sky is the limit.  If you have any interest in contributing, please don't hesitate to contact The BroCave at with some sample material, and don't forget to submit tips that will make our jobs easier.  Who knows, you could be a part of something special.  Thanks again Bros, keep on reading on.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Beadle Vs. Andrews, Who Ya Got?

 First, let's talk looks...

If you watch a considerable amount of ESPN, then you get your fair share of Michelle Beadle.  Especially with the free time in college, I could watch the same SportsNation a few times in one day.  With that said, Beadle is starting to look old, and I feel like I don't see enough of Erin Andrews.  There's no doubt the 35 year old's body still has some talent left. 

By not slipping a peek at the infamous Erin Andrews reverse peephole video, you aren't really missing much (but come on, you've gotta watch it).  There's no doubt the body is there, but the details aren't, and I'm not yet desperate enough to dissect it for some.  With or without the details, EA, the 2007 and 2008 award winner for Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster, takes the prize.  Not only is Andrews proven (shown by her bikini pics), but Nobody gets bitched out when she comes on air.

Leading to the next topic, TV skills...

Michelle Beadle and Colin Cowherd are teamed up for ESPN's SportsNation.  In this case, Cowherd actually hurts Beadle.  I don't usually mind listening to Cowherd, but often he makes an analysis that any typical sports fan that has never played a sport in their life would make, a stupid one.  Maybe that gives Beadle some justification for the attitude on air, I'll accept it.  Cowherd's questionable views leave the door wide open for Beadle most of the time, but rarely do I see her killing it, she gets the job done, but without style points, or a challenge.  I can't say much about her days working as the New Jersey Nets sideline reporter, who honestly watches Nets games on the YES Network anyway?  Plus, Beadle is a Jets fan, not helping her case.

Even while she was in school at Florida University, Erin Andrews was in the spotlight as a 3-year member of the Gators basketball dance team.  Not a bad start.  Since joining the broadcasting scene in 2000, EA has reported for nearly every sport including, hockey, different levels of football and baseball, and even the Outdoor Games.  She matches the knowledge Beadle about the wide world of sports, making for a tight race.  She currently hosts College Gameday, and acts as a Good Morning America correspondent, beating out Beadle in the TV credentials category.  Plus, she's not a Jets fan, any other team is better.  Andrews wins the edge again.

The Outcome...

Big Bad Beadle puts up a killer fight in this heavyweight faceoff.  Yes, Beadle's rebellious affair with ESPN's NHL analyst Matthew Barnaby (who is in the midst of a divorce and assault charge) sparks some interest, and might point to her as being the more exciting option.  But in the end, EA takes the crown as the safe, sexy sports broadcaster, banging out the win Every. Damn. Time.  But then again, Beadle does bite the hell out of that hot dog...

What do you think Bros?  Vote 1 Star for Beadle, Vote 5 Stars for E-Andrews.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Ray Lewis Claims Crime Will Rise if Lockout Continues...Didn't He Murder Someone?

In a "candid" interview with ESPN's Sal Paolantonio, Ray Lewis made a claim that crime will rise if there is no NFL season in 2011. He stated that, "people live through how much evil, crime will rise up if you take away our game".

Uh What? I hope I was not the only bro holding back tears of laughter after hearing this come out of Ray Ray's mouth. Yup, you're right Ray. Since there is no NFL this year I think I may go out an rob a few banks, maybe even sell a little dope. No wait that's way to miniscule, maybe I'll just be accused of murder like you, since I live through you and all! Forget school, forget work, there's no football so what better to do then become a criminal!?

Just because you're a self centered maniac does not mean the rest of us are. Yeah, we all love football Ray, but I am not about to go pull a hit an run because the NFL's in a labor dispute. Ray Lewis, if you want people to really live through you, maybe you should just keep your mouth shut. Oh, and holding back on the murder chargers couldn't hurt.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Geoff is a Pretty Cool Name

I refuse to be friends with someone named "Geoff", ever.  Instead of spelling it the easy way, this is the guy that will force everything to be way harder than it really is for his entire like, like having the name Geoff instead of Jeff.  Name one cool Geoff you know, you can't.  It kind of makes me mad just looking at it.  Geoff.  WTF is that?  No good, sorry Bro.

Are You Kidding Me Bro?

Last week I spent about 3 hours out of a day sitting under a tree with friends and smoking Hookah, not really moving.  At no moment in my life had I ever felt more like a hippie, and it was pretty great.  But this will not stop me from hating on the hippies in Ithaca. 

The no shaving/bathing habits are pretty nasty, but today I noticed a new hippie trait: Awful driving. 
Probably the only reason I noticed was because I was in a hurry, but the yuppies driving the hybrid, electric, solar powered, vegetable fueled Subaru station wagon in front of me felt the need to hit the brakes at every time they saw a little trickle of water on the side of the road that resembled a waterfall.  While there is no way the hippies outdo the Asians in the terrible driving category, hippies do one thing Asians don't, making hippies worse....

Hippies walk goats on leashes?  Are you kidding me Bro?  Downtown Ithaca, I'm just getting my goat some exercise, no big deal.  Pedro, there is so much wrong here, I don't even know where to begin.  The organic food is tasty and healthy, I can respect that, but the individualism this hairball is trying to force by walking a goat in the Ithaca Commons is just stupid. 

If you're a hippie, get off the road when you want to look at nature and shit, get your goats off the sidewalks. 

Finals are just about done now, happy summer SUNY Cortland, stay safe, stay fly.  Oh yea, IC SHIT.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Bro Tunes: The Cave Boys

Is this, or is this not, a match made in heaven? In this edition of Bro Tunes, The Cave Boys meet The BroCave.

These white boys come straight out of none other than Hip-Hop USA, Keene, New Hampshire. But with all seriousness, these guys have shown a lot of promise, effort, and potential since I first started listening to them a month or so ago. In return for their hard work, they were recently awarded "Best College Rappers" by The Campus Socialite.

Check out three favorite songs by the Cave Boy Crew, Life's Good, Change the World, and Learn to Fly (Feat. Erene Glimenakis). Find their album, "Now Boarding", sponsored on DatPiff, music videos on YouTube, and become a fan of the duo on Facebook.

Natural, distinctive, inspiring; these are just a few words to describe The Cave Boys. The two from UNH are just a couple of regular Cave Bros doing what they love, and you've gotta respect them, at least check them out for that.

Plus, don't forget to take a peek at up and comer Erene Glimenakis, who's featured in Learn to Fly. It's not the everyday bro listen, but she has definitely got talent.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

LeBrick Chokes, But Shamrocks Run Out of Luck

Here's an entry from a potential new BroCave writer, let me know what you guys think... Vote 5 stars to get this Bro an account, 1 star for no Bro status.

If you’re a Bro then you were watching the Heat-Celtics game tonight, and I pray that you all WITNESSED the Heat giving the worst closer in the game the final shot in regulation.  That’s right, LeBron James got the ball with twenty seconds left in a tie ball game and got stripped worse than Candy Bottom at the Topless Cabana.  
LeBrick got the chance at the last shot over “team leader”, Dwayne Wade, to try and get a leg up over the Celtics and take a 3-1 series lead.  Are you kidding me Bro? LeBron with the last shot? Has the last 8 years of him sucking on buzzer beaters meant nothing? Good call Spoelstra, you wouldn’t ever want to win the game and give the ball to, I don’t know, anyone else but LeBron?
At least the Celtics roster has an average age of 45 and couldn’t move during overtime to tie up the series.  Was anyone else thinking that if the Celtics won the game, all we would hear about for the next 4 years on SportsCenter is how LeBron got stripped on the last play? Besides Charles Barkley, I can’t stand hearing NBA analysts, but I hate it even more when they talk about the Heat. They lose one game, and it’s a National crisis.
I can see it now. “LeBron, you got stripped for the last shot, should Wade have shot it? Do you want to cry? What on earth will the Heat do to rebound?…..” 
No one cares. The answer to all those questions is that the man just sucks with a minute left and the Heat are fools for even giving him the ball. Bros, thank the sport gods that the Heat pulled it off so we don’t have to avoid SportsCenter Brett Favre style for the next month and turn our morning television pleasures to ABC Family.  
Keep at it LeBron, we’re all hoping you stop missing, not for your sake, but for the sake of watching SportCenter.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

CollegeACB, A New Way to Talk Shit

I've been in college almost 2 full years now, and not until a little over a week ago did I find out about CollegeACB.  At a school as small as SUNY Cortland, a lot of people know each other, or at least recognize names.  CollegeACB give you with the ability to talk shit about someone else on campus anonymously.  For someone like me there aren't many things better to distract me from my homework than reading about the "Biggest Whores on Campus."  If you don't go to a community college (there's 3 listed on CollegeACB), then chances are your school is listed.  Check it out Bros.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Bro Tunes: Diggy Edition

It's tough living in the shadow of a parent, especially if that parent is Joseph Simmons, co-founder of Run DMC.  At the yound age of 16, Daniel "Diggy" Simmons has already established himself as one of the most promising young Hip-Hop musicians, and not just because of his father's name.

Above is Diggy's newest song featuring Bruno Mars called Click Clack Away.  I'm tune is fresh, the contrast between verses by Bruno Mars and Diggy work well with eachother, and the entire song is clever in general.  Find this single catching fire on HotNewHipHop, and become a fan on Facebook.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

The First and Last Mock Draft I Will Ever Create

1. Cam Newton - QB - 6'5" - 248
Analysis: The pick is risky, and not until a month or so was Cam Newton even projected as a top 10 pick.  However, if the Panthers plan on competing within the division against teams bearing the arms of Drew Brees, Matty Ice, and Josh Freeman, they will need a quarterback with more upside than the likes of Jimmy Clausen. Newton is worth the risk here.

2. Marcell Dareus - DT - 6'3" - 319
Analysis: The Broncos have made it public that they are not planning on making Tim Tebow the quarterback of the future, giving Blaine Gabbert some thought here.  But, it's too high of a pick to use on Blaine Gabbert when the Broncos clearly have larger demands. Dareus will provide instant help for the league's worst defense that sacrificed the most points per game (29.4), and more yards against per game (390.8).

3. Von Miller - OLB - 6'3" - 246
Analysis: Even though the Bills desperately need a franchise quarterback that can learn under Harvard man Ryan Fitzpatrick for a year or so, it just makes too much sense to take Miller to fill a pass rushing void that has been vacant for years at outside linebacker.  He's an athletic freak, good character, and an can provide immediate impact.  Look for the Bills to target QB Christian Ponder in the 2nd, and possibly trade into the 2nd round for another spot to snag TE Kyle Rudolph. 

4. Blaine Gabbert - QB - 6'4" - 234
Analysis: Chad Johnson/OchoCinco is still blowing Twitter up, and is said to be "too hurt" to return.  Since the knee injury in 2006, Carson Palmer has looked very old and been extremely inconsistent.  Now Carson is starting drama, looking to follow Chad out of Cincy.  Don't expect the Bengals to take the risk of having Carson's younger brother Jordan Palmer take the reigns of the team.  The Bengals draft Blaine Gabbert as the new face of the franchise, and enters an offensive situation filled by young talents Jermaine Gresham, Andre Caldwell, Jordan Shipley, and Jerome Simpson.

5. Patrick Peterson - CB - 6' - 219
Analysis: As well as I can picture Blaine Gabbert as a Cardinal, they get screwed out of a chance to turn the offense around for Larry Fitzgerald, who is steadily growing impatient.  If the Cards don't trade down the draft board to later take QB Andy Dalton, or QB Ryan Mallett, Arizona addresses the defensive backfield.  By selecting CB Patrick Peterson, whom many consider to be the most talented player in the draft, the Cardinals now have an excellent tandem with Peterson and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie.
6. A.J. Green - WR - 6'4" - 211
Analysis: The Dog-Pound would really enjoy some pressure on the opposition's QB, but they would love for Colt McCoy to have a target to throw to.  Peyton Hillis doesn't need to touch the ball over 300 times, and A.J. Green fills the void that Braylon Edwards left behind 2 years ago.

7.  Andy Dalton - QB - 6'2" - 215
Analysis: This will absolutely be considered a reach, but Dalton is the most proven winner in the draft.  The way I see it, the 49ers have a very good defense, and almost all the necessary pieces for a fully feared offense for any defensive coordinator.  New Head Coach John Harbaugh is ready to guide Dalton, who has all the tools except red hair to be great, to a successful career.  Frank Gore on the ground, Dalton throwing to Vernon Davis/Michael Crabtree, and a defense led by LB Patrick Willis.  What's attractive about facing that team?  Nothing.  This is the pick for the 49ers if they are unable trade down to scoop up Dalton, the problem is that only draft picks can be traded draft day.

8. Robert Quinn - DE - 6'4" - 265
Analysis: The Titans haven't seemed to have that big pass rush presence ever since Jevon Kearse's departure.  Despite knee concerns, Tennessee takes the best player on the board, DE Robert Quinn.  With Kerry Collins being and old man, and Rusty Smith with no future past backup QB, both Jake Locker and Andy Dalton have skyrocketed up draft boards, leaving both as a reach, but a possibility here.

9. Tyron Smith - OT - 6'5" - 307
Analysis: Unless Jerry Jones would like to see his precious Tony Romo walking the sidelines again next season, he'll be sure to revamp the long overdue offensive line.  The 2-year starting RT for USC still has room to grow, and the athleticism to become an excellent LT in the NFL.  Blindside, check.

10. Prince Amukamara - CB - 6' - 206
Analysis: Julio Jones is the sexy pick here for Mike Shanahan, and it may end up being the pick in the end.  But what's a team without defense? The 'Skins will pick Amukamara to help stabilize the poor defensive backfield with DeAngelo Hall. Nick Fairley is another possibility here, but the last thing Washington needs is another temperamental DT.  I expect another very mediocre draft from a team having only 2 picks in the first 4 rounds.

11. Julio Jones - WR - 6'3" - 220
Analysis: After consistent inconsistency from Jacoby Jones and Kevin Walter, it's evident that Andre Johnson needs a wingman at the number 2 receiver slot.  While it is not the Texans' biggest need by any means, they are not prepared to take a chance on potential one-year wonder Nick Fairley at DT.  Character issues don't help his cause. The Texans continue to possess one of the league's most potent offense's and will look to address the defense for the remainder of the draft/free agency.  Jones is too good to pass up for the Texans.

12. Ryan Mallett - QB - 6'7" - 253
Analysis: A mutual interest has been shown between Donovan McNabb and the Vikings, leaving the Vikes with a big decision whether or not to draft their biggest need or not.  It's way to risky to take the chance that they may or may not have a solid quarterback next season.  Despite character and drug addiction questions, Ryan Mallett goes to the Vikings.

13. Akeem Ayers - OLB
Analysis: After a poor 40-yard dash showing at the NFL Combine, Akeem Ayers has turned into  more of an inside linebacker.  The Lions don't think so.  With hopes that Ayers can improve his speed and instincts, Detroit selects this outside linebacker who can rush and play back in coverage, filling a gaping hole in the defense.

14. Nick Fairley - DT - 6'4" - 291
Analysis: Character issures aside, this is a perfect fit for the Rams and Fairley.  St. Louis is lucky to find Fairley slipping this far, and won't ignore the athleticism they need up front that can add pressure on the quarterback and plug running gaps. Fairley could be the steal of the draft for the Rams. 

15.  Mark Ingram - RB - 5'9" - 215
Analysis: The Fins have a number of needs to fill, but there is no way they pass up the chance to find their future running back that can make an immediate impact, especially with aging running backs Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams becoming free agents.  Plus, if Miami does not draft Ingram, the Patriots will, and the last thing the Dolphins want to see is the inner-divison rival New England Patriots adding a running game to their repetoire.

16. Ryan Kerrigan - DE - 6'3" - 267
Analysis: Kerrigan is a guy who will probably be available at 16. His well documented work ethis, leadership skills, and statistics make Ryan Kerrigan a great fit, completing the defensive line reconstruction for the Jags.

17. Cameron Jordan - DE - 6'4" - 287
Analysis: Jordan will be a great selection for the New England Patriots here... if they don't trade the pick.  If the Pats manage to keep their pick at 17, look for Bill Belichick to find his replacement for Richard Seymour.  Da'Quan Bowers is tempting here, but why chose an injury riddled DE when there is a healthy DE that fits the Patriots system well?

18. J.J. Watt - DE - 6'5" - 290
Analysis: The Chargers add some Wattage with the addition of the standout Wisconsin DE.  As a guy who can reach the quarterback from the inside or outside, Watt will provide an instant pass rush for the Chargers.  Also, keep an eye open for Watt on special teams, he blocked 3 kicks in his last college season.

19. Anthony Castonzo - OT - 6'7" - 311
Analysis: The G-men need to bolster an offensive line that has been successful for years.  The problem is that the Giants allowed the O-Line to get too old.  In a draft class with very few excellent offensive line prospects, adding a tackle is a must as I find it hard to believe New York's veterans will remain healthy the entire year.

20.  Da'Quan Bowers - DE - 6'3" - 280
Analysis: With a defense that has many holes, the Bucs will begin by selecting a DE, and if Da'Quan Bowers is still on the board at number 20, Tampa Bay will be the one's to select him.  If the knee holds together, this pick can really prove to be vital to the Buccaneers for years to come.

21. Nate Solder - OT - 6'8" - 319
Analysis: Before QB Matt Cassel gets another target on offense, an upgrade at either of the offensive tackle positions is the priority.  In a relatively weak class for offensive linemen, the Chiefs will grab one when they can.  Just imagine the things that Jamaal Charles can do behind an even better line than he had last year.

22.  Gabe Carimi - OT - 6'7" - 314Analysis: Time and time again Carimi proved himself among the best defensive ends in the Big-Ten againt numerous potential first-round picks.  At pick number 22, the Colts get great value in Carimi, and begin a youth movement for the offensive line.

23. Jimmy Smith - CB - 6'2" - 211
Analysis: The Eagles have spent a lot of time investigating Smith's character and I'm convinced that they believe that Smith is too talented to let pass. The Eagles need cornerback help, but if Smith is gone, they will look at a right tackle or right guard.  Smith will add some nice depth to Cornerback for Philly, and will be able to step in mid-way through the season if the inconsistent Dimitri Patterson struggles.

24. Adrian Clayborn - DE - 6'2" - 281
Analysis: The Saints would love if Anthony Castonzo slipped this far, but at this point he will likely be unavailable.  New Orleans are finally able to upgrade their pass rush with Iowa standout Adrian Clayborn.

25. Jake Locker - QB - 6'3" - 231
Analysis: More and more Seattle's offense is looking bleak.  There is a need for offensive linemen in Seattle, but the real question is, who will throw the ball?  Whether the Seahawks lose Matt Hasselbeck to free agency or not, there is no quarterback of the future on the 'Hawks.  Seattle selects local boy Jake Locker with the 25th pick in the draft, who may end up being the best quarterback in this draft class 5 years down the road.

26. Cameron Heyward - DE - 6'4" - 294
Analysis: Cameron Heyward was extremely productive for Ohio State, and will continue that trend in the NFL barring any injuries.  Heyward is a versatile 6'5", 294 lbs with the ability to play any position on the defensive line.  The Ravens love drafting monsters for their front seven, and they do it again here, adding yet another threat that can get to the quarterback.

27.  Torrey Smith - WR - 6'1" - 204
Analysis: With Tony Gonzalez entering what is perhaps his final year of his career, Notre Dame's Kyle Rudolph makes a lot of sense here.  What they need first is a smart, hard-working, high character wide receiver to play opposite of Roddy White.  They get all of the above with Torrey Smith.  Look for the Falcons to target a TE such as D.J. Williams on day 2 of the draft.

28. Mike Pouncey
Analysis: Another value pick for the Patrs if Pouncey still is on the board. The Patriots must stabilize their aging offensive line. This may be the steal of the draft if Pouncey is still there at 28, if not, they may use this pick in a trade for more picks.

29. Jon Baldwin - WR - 6'4" - 228
Analysis: For as long as I can remember, the Bears have been thin at Wide Receiver.  This year, Chicago finally addresses the issue and gives Jay Cutler tall option for jump balls near the red zone.

30. Aldon Smith - DE - 6'4" - 263
Analysis: The Jets were hoping to snag Jon Baldwin in the number 30 slot, but decides to address the need for a pass rush on defense.  Between Rex Ryan's coaching and Smith's tools, he possesses the potential to become an elite pass-rusher in the NFL.  This would be a great replacement for Jason Taylor and would help Jets fans forget they ever picked Vernon Gholston.

31. Derek Sherrod - OT - 6'5" - 321
Analysis: The Steelers are devastated to see the New England Patriots select Mike Pouncey, who Tomlin had hoped to reunite with his brother Maurkice Pouncey on the offensive line.  Instead, Pittsburgh makes a very smart selection in Derek Sherrod to bolster the OT postion that needs help.  Rashard Mendenhall will certainly appreciate it.

32. Justin Houston - OLB - 6'3" - 270
Analysis: With many hopeful draftees off the board already, the Pack fill a need at OLB with an undersized DE.  Houston possesses explosive strength and speed, just what Green Bay is looking for at outside linebacker. If the Packers decide to go in a different direction with their first pick, keep an eye on Sam Acho out of Texas in the second round, a very good player that could fly under the radar.

I started this mock last night, and once I realized what I got myself into, it was too late to turn back.  Thanks for checking out my first, and last NFL mock draft.