Saturday, January 8, 2011

A Great Start to the NFL Playoffs


That is of course unless you picked the Saints to cover the spread, or had the returning champs excelling to a win or two in your playoff pool. 

Right about now I think it's safe to say Marshawn Lynch would rather be a Seattle Seahawk than a Buffalo Bill.  Lynch deserves credit for capping the win off, sealing the deal, and breaking off perhaps one of the greatest playoff runs of all time, yes.  But more impressive was seasoned veteran Matt Hasselbeck's performance.  Hasselbeck threw for 272 yards, 4 touchdowns, and 1 interception, only picked off because it was deflected by the receiver's hands. 

I'm glad the underdog 'Hawks won since I really didn't care about the game, and had nothing riding on it.  Hell, why don't they just go the distance?  I hope they can get it done for Matt Hasselbeck, he's had a great career, almost all of it coming in a Seattle Seahawks uniform.  However, the road to the gold goes through Chicago, a stiff task for a Seahawk team with momentum, but also running out of luck.  We can only hope the remaining playoff games are as entertaining as this one has been.

NFL Playoffs Begin



So the Saints vs. Seahawks game just got underway. The saints come in with a 12-4 record where the Seahawks come in with a controversial 7-9 record. As a Giants fan don't get me started about that. This should be an easy victory for the defending champion New Orleans Saints. This game is being overlooked however due to the high expectations and all the buzz around Rex Ryan's New York Jets.

The Jets face the Colt's in Indianapolis at 8:00 ET on NBC. I used to cheer for both New York football teams, but ever since Rex Ryan started opening his big mouth I've started to root against the green machine. There is no jealousy involved, I'm just someone who doesn't like arrogant bastards.

Tonight's game will be a good one. The Jets have a good shot at winning as long as Sanchez can keep his turnovers to a minimum against a sub-par defense. It would be nice to see a New York team go the distance, however I think that even if the Jets advance, the Patriots are far too strong for there to be a parade in NYC.

I hope you enjoy the games tonight and let us here know which game you are most looking forward to on The BroCave's Poll of the Week located on the side bar.

God Bless America!

video

So it's that time of year again for everyone's favorite pastime; Baby Dropping. Hundreds gather each year in India to watch some grown Hindus and Muslims throw their infant babies off a 50 foot high ledge onto a bed sheet. When I first saw this video I wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. (I laughed) All I was thinking was "God Bless America Bros!" I mean come on you are throwing innocent babies off a building. What is fun about that? What if a kid misses the bed sheet? However, I then began to think of how much smarter Indian children are than American children. It is believed that most Indian 10 year olds are smarter than some 30 year old American adults. Shit, I think we should start throwing our babies off buildings pronto. Whatever it takes to end our run of busy one of the dumbest countries in the world. Seriously though, this is just wrong. Why can't they just throw a ball instead? Do you think we should be dropping our babies like India?

Typical Knicks Fan



Just another typical, ignorant New York fan.  Aside from the Jets, who I loathe, I honestly have nothing against any New York sports teams.  However, NY sports fans are among the worst of all sports fans, accompanied by Philadelphia fans. 

First of all, even if Melo did make his way into a Knicks uniform, he wouldn't be wearing number 15.  I understand the fan's main idea here but how can you call yourself a true fan, and defend your stupidity when you aren't even aware that the two of the Knick's arguably most influential basketball players Earl Monroe and Dick Mcguire already have their number "15" hanging in the rafters.  So what number would he wear?  One this is for sure, not the number on all those Knicks jerseys with "Carmelo" printed across the back.

It's beginning to look like it won't matter.  Rumor has it that the New Jersey Nets are looking to incorporate Carmelo Anthony, Richard Hamilton, and Chauncey Billups in a package deal that would send the trio to the Nets.  Melo has previously stated that he wanted to go somewhere that he could win, with pieces already in place.  Upon arrival Anthony would sign a 3 year extension with the team, and the move would set up the Nets to potentially sign Chris Paul in the off season. 

With Brooke Lopez already a proven star, the lineup would be looking pretty solid, adding a potential playoff look to the Nets eyes.  The Nets, who are making much more aggressive moves than the Knicks, are certainly beginning to looking like the more likely suitor for frustrated Carmelo Anthony.  The unretired number 15 Nets jersey is starting to look much more rational.



Thats One Big Stick


A true battle of the sticks right here, but you can't expect a gas station clerk to have a tree branch under the counter.  I did figure all gas stations had some kind of gun that the clerk could use to defend themself with though. The guy is a clear professional, he hides his face, wraps his shoes up with plastic, and has the confidence to make a robbery with a piece of wood.  There's no way this guy gets caught and I gotta give him props for it.  You just raked up some dough using only a tree branch. It has to be the best robbery of 2010.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Lamb Rover


MSNBC PhotoBlog -What the hell do we have going on here Cuba?  If this was the deep south I could see that this guy is maybe rushing his wife to the hospital, the lamb does look kind of prego.  Plus I don't know whats going on with the little erotic ear nibble, it's all good i suppose.  But on the other hand I have a feeling Cubans aren't as messed up as some rednecks, so they probably haven't had sex.  I'm dumbfounded on this one.  Plus, she's not even wearing a helmet.  Safety first Bro.

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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Debut of the Hoodie Blazer


 
The Big Shamrock himself whips out a new style on late night TV.  I'd jump on the Hoodie-Blazer bandwagon solely because Big Shaq Diesel is backing it.  I'm roaming eBay as we speak. What do you think Bros?

UnLucky


 
Just a day after the Panthers claimed they would not trade the first pick, and the pick that would in all likelihood be Andrew Luck, Stanford's Quarterback decided he is heading back to school for his fourth year.  Luck is turning down upwards of potentially $60 million guaranteed.  Theres plenty of reasons why Luck wouldn't want to take his talents to the NFL but come on, $60 mil isn't something your everyday contract, unless you would be playing for the Carolina Panthers.

First of all, people keep forgetting that there may not be an NFL season next year.  I've done two separate presentations in school based on what is happening between the NFLPA and the owners.  Right now its a mess, and an agreement seems miles away.  One hot topic is that the NFLPA would like the rookie salary structure drastically changed because they feel the unproven players are paid too much in comparison to proven veterans.  If Luck isn't guaranteed he would be drafted, why would he leave school and take the risk?  Luck has made it clear that his degree matters to he and his family.

Second, who wants to play for the Carolina Panthers?  Honestly, any other team within the top 5 has a better resume for a player whether its history, fans, location, or talent.  I myself can only name a few players on the Panthers team off the top of my head; DeAngelo Williams, Jonathan Stewart, Jon Beason, and Steve Smith.  There has already been speculation that the Panthers oldest player and biggest star Steve Smith is preparing to leave Carolina.  The money is the only attractive facet of going from a top 10 college football team, to an NFL bottom feeder who will require at least 3 or 4 years before they contend again.  By that time, who knows if they'll even exist.

You've gotta start thinking that maybe, just maybe, Stanford's Head Coach Jim Harbaugh will turn down the coaching jobs around the NFL for another shot at winning a PAC-12 championship with Andrew Luck.  The only way Harbaugh does leave, is if an NFL team (which seems to be Miami), offers him a contract so bizarre for a Head Coach, that he can't refuse it.  As of now he's looking at around $8 million per year from the Miami Dolphins.  Besides the Panthers, the Dolphins themselves are starting to lack talent with a backfield containing a deteriorating Ronnie Brown, a very high Ricky Williams, and no quarterback.  Plus let's not forget that Miami still has a Head Coach.

The way I see it, if both Harbaugh and Luck return to Stanford, they each get a shot to stay in the area the next year if they decide to move on to the NFL.  I anticipate the San Francisco 49ers have a pretty dismal year, and based on the history of returning college quarterbacks, Luck won't find himself as successful next year at Stanford.  However, the NFL and money will always be there, so why not roll the dice and hopefully find yourself drafted by a more talented team next year?  Andrew Luck made the right decision regardless of his performance next season, he's headed back to college, the greatest time of anyone's life.  As for the Carolina Panthers, I guess you would just have to call them unLucky.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Are You Kidding Me Bro?


 
BEIJING (Reuters) – Torrential icy rain across five provinces in southern China has forced 58,000 people to evacuate from their damaged homes, causing economic losses of $203.8 million, the ministry of civil affairs said on Wednesday.

Freezing rain has pummeled the provinces of Jiangxi, Hunan, Chongqing, Sichuan and Guizhou in the past few days, killing one person and causing more than 1,200 houses to collapse, the ministry added.

The harsh weather in southern China, where winter is usually relatively mild, has damaged 142,400 hectares of crops in the provinces that produce rice, timber and coal and caused economic losses of 1.35 billion yuan ($203.8 million) as of Tuesday, the ministry added.

In southwestern Guizhou province, 22,800 people were forced to evacuate from their homes on Tuesday, state news agency Xinhua reported.

The icy weather and sleet have paralyzed traffic and strained power networks in some areas ahead of the vast migrations of people for the Lunar New Year holiday next month. Highways in Guizhou have been clogged in the past few days, leaving thousands stranded in their cars as almost all expressways in the province were closed, said the Guizhou Provincial Department of Transport.

On Tuesday, traffic slowly returned to normal in Guizhou as all ice-covered highways reopened after being closed for over 30 hours. Guizhou's provincial weather forecaster warned that it could take five more days for the cold and rainy weather to subside.

In early 2008, freezing weather across southern China caused power cuts and transport chaos, preventing many residents from spending the Lunar New Year with their families. The disruption rippled across the region, causing a brief spike in food prices.

___________________________________________________________________________ 


 The big deal with this here is that China is basically better than us in everything.  We're good at drinking, they're good at having babies, making nukes, and doing math.  We have baseball, they have Ninja Warrior.  We all know which is more fun to watch.

But you know what? At least we can build goddamn houses.  Seriously, maybe its about time I take a trip out East to check out these "homes".  Are they made of mud and popsicle sticks?  58,000 people were forced to evacuate from their homes.  Maybe they aren't as prepared for the winters like we are, understandable, but come the fuck on, its freezing rain.  I guess the reasonable explanation is that they were made in China.

I like how this writer needs to add that a grand total of 1 person was killed this entire time, oh, how horrific.  I'd say out of evacuating 58,000 people, 1 person dead is no biggie.

Theres video of people salting highways by hand.  I say good luck to you sirs, you're absolutely fucked.  Oh and have fun heating up your railways up by hand too, that's a guaranteed fix.  Next you should try dumping water on everything, watch it melt, then move on.  There's no way it refreezes.

Looks like you might have to give your good 'ol friends in the US of A a call.  Upstate New York can chip in the salt and trucks, then how about we call the $1 trillion we owe you even.  May the force be with you Bros, you're going to need it.

Say Goodbye to the Beard


Hamburg, NY - Until early afternoon today, it was just another day that Bills fans could celebrate the false hope of what the third overall pick in 2011's NFL draft would bring them.  Quarterback of the Buffalo Bills Ryan Fitzpatrick, formerly known as the "Amish Rifle", did his part to make the typical Bills fan's day just a bit more disappointing.  As the season progressed, the beard was honestly one of the only things I had to look forward to seeing when I watched a Bills game, and now it's gone.  "I'm fighting the tears right now," said Fitzpatrick sarcastically.  Fitzpatrick was forced to keep them beard the entire season by teammates after he initially only grew it out because he was lazy.  He came out nearly unrecognizable bearing a name tag saying "Hello, My Name is Ryan Fitzpatrick."  Come on Bro, you're better than that.  Now you just look like a 12-year-old boy.

The Champ is Here


I think its safe to say it was a good 2 days in The BroCave.  First, I claimed some cash in a big Fantasy Football Championship win.  Second, I hit a 4 team parlay after Stanford rocked Virginia Tech last night.  And of course, I defeated the arrogant challenger Ben Myer in a cookoff.  Iron Chef: Willard.

The night prior to the competition, Bennett aggressively attacked me via text, his preferred, safest style of provocation.  You could say that this lit my fire, or in more proper cooking terms, got the water boiling.

While he was drinking, I was preparing, gathering items that I knew no matter what the dish, would propel me to victory.  Of course as you can imagine, Big Ben demanded that bringing outside ingredients was illegal since he didn't think of doing it himself.  Erroneous.

Key items that were chosen secretly and required for use were used.  Every other ingredient used is free game.  Mess with the Bull, and you get the horns.  Scores were based on taste, presentation, and originality by five judges.  The BroCave was represented with pride.  In a close victory of 237-234, yours truly declared the Willard Iron Chef crown, and defeated the now not so disdainful challenger.


P.S. - Check out the comment for a little more insight into how vain Bennett still is since he can't accept not getting something he wanted.  You challenged, you lost, and I won.  Toodaloo Mothafuckaaaaaaa.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Church of Tebow Prevails

 


It was Fantasy Football Championship week in the SUNY Cortland Fantasy Football league where Brobama's very own number 1 seed Church of Tebow took on the likes of number 2 seed Jetsfan17.  The scene was set for a sure showdown.  As the week went by I took the initiative by quietly researching the start/sit statuses across the league, remaining very sly.

Church of Tebow managed to snag both Running Back Ryan Mathews who took over for the injured Mike Tolbert, and Ben Roethlisberger. Both were released by Team Ramrod who was participating in the 3rd place game to get his money back.  The Roethlisberger move was obviously in question as it was a guarantee Ramrod's Michael Vick would not play, but he still had Green Bay Packer Aaron Rodgers on the team.  But lets just say I wasn't complaining since I knew the my very own Tom Brady would only have limited time during this week's contest versus the Miami Dolphins.

Jetsfan17 managed to dominate the Special Teams and Defensive aspect of the match this week, but anyone who plays Fantasy Football can tell you that Defense does not wins championships.... in Fantasy.  Only one player on Jetfan17's offense trumped any of Church of Tebow's players, that being Reggie Wayne.  However, there's no "I" in team.

Prayers were answered in the Church of Tebow this week as every player knew what was on the line, and stepped their game up to claim the Championship victory.  Ryan Mathews and Rushing title winner Arian Foster rose to the occasion and lifted their team to the title this week in a 184.10 to 118.62 stomping.

Take note that the Church of Tebow finishes the season on a 9 game winning streak, the last loss coming from none other than Jetsfan17 in week 7.  The Church of Tebow would like to thank all of its fans and supporters throughout the year, without you this victory wouldn't be as special as it is.  Until next year, don't forget to keep praying in the Church of Tebow, and as always, Fuck the Jets.


Official Final Standings:

1) Church of Tebow
2) Jetsfan17
3) Playbook of Eli
4) Team Ramrod
5) Snicklfritz
6) Private Zajac's Crew
7) Keith Stone
8 ) Ben There Raped That
9) PurplePeopleEaters28
10) EarlDontBeAHero

I'm Glad I Don't Know Her


Papa Fuckin Johns right?  This just goes to show you how impatient we Americans are.  This college student is so impatient she gets into a verbal battle with the cooks of a fast food pizza restaurant.  After waiting for ten excruciating minutes, the customer let's the cooks know what's on her mind.  I guess she must have been having a rough day.  After screaming at the cooks she decides it would be okay to throw her drink at a bro in line for his own pie.  As you would imagine, he didn't appreciate that.  The two start mouthing off at each other, the rhino charges back with a head of steam at the bro and like all tough bros do in a fight, they curse and have their other bros hold them back before they do anything they'll regret in jail the next morning.  The best part of the clip has to be some chick in the back obnoxiously laughing during the entire altercation.  Like the title says, "I'm glad I don't know her."

2012 is Just Around the Corner

It hasn't been 2011 for a week and it already seems like the world is going to end.  We all have heard the rumors of the Mayans predicting that the world will end on December 21st, 2012.  Well they might be right.  In fact it seems like the world might end even sooner.  On Sunday just over 2,000 red-winged black birds were found dead in a small Arkansas town.  The mayor of the town stated that on Friday afternoon, birds began falling from the sky.  The last bird recorded came on Sunday morning.  The mayor sent out 12 to 15 workers to clean up all the birds.  Now as if this story isn't weird enough, the believed cause of the birds death is stress from all the New Years Eve fireworks that were set off on Friday night.

Now I'm not a person who believes in things like 2012, however this is still some pretty freaky shit.  I could see maybe one or two birds falling dead in a town, but over 2,000!  Holy Balls is that a lot of dead birds.  I'm not sure if I'm buying that the fireworks led the birds to be stressed out.  Arkansas needs to change whatever the hell they're doing over there because its not good to have birds falling out of the sky like that.  Birds are supposed to fly and stay in the sky.  Welcome the first weird news story of 2011.

Tommy Coughlin Will Return


According to Bob Glauber of Newsday, John Mara, Co-Owner of the New York Giants has spoken; "There was never any doubt."  Mara was of course referring to the status of Head coach Tom Coughlin, and if he would return next season.

"I believe in stability. You can’t build anything if you’re constantly making changes and firing people", said Mara.  This is one thing that many professional sports lack when they hit a rough patch, desperately looking for a way to recover and grasp onto their .

I'll use my disappointing Buffalo Bills as a prime example of this because it is so easy to.  Year after year the Western New York area has been filled with false hope for the past decade.  The Bills have mowed through 5 different head coaches in the past 10 years, not including this year's head coach, Chan Gailey.  In these past 10 years the Bills overall record was 66-94.  During none of these years were the Bills blessed with a guaranteed starting quarterback for any season.  It almost felt as though every year the Bills were on the edge of something by playing hard, but would fall apart due to injuries, coaching mistakes, and simply not having enough talent.  The truth is that the instability in within the desperate Bills organization has held them back.

This year the New York Giants went 10-6, and were squeezed out of the playoff picture.  Tom Coughlin's overall record as Head Coach of the Giants is 65-47 which equals a  .580 win percentage.  The last coach of the G-Men to compile a better record in his tenure was Bill Parcells who was 77-49, which is equivalent to a .611 win percentage.

The point is that this year was not an unsuccessful year.  Yes, New York's Football Giants failed to make the playoffs for the second consecutive year, the pressure will be on Tom to prevail next year.  However, the majority of "experts" predicted that the Giants would finish 2nd or worse in the division, many besides ESPN's analysts thought it would be another 8-8 season.  The truth is, when you have a centerpiece as important to your organization as Coughlin has been, whether its his record or the 2007 Super Bowl win, you do not simply let that stability and reliability fly out the door.

I understand that New York City is a place full of desire and emotions, but its time to look closely at your situation and be thankful for what you have in your football team.  2011 looks promising for the New York Football Giants.