Is This Shit Real?

The only thing running through my mind right now... ARE YOU KIDDING ME BRO!?  The company that designs this headwear is called SpiritHoods.  I took a look at the price of this hat-mitten combo bullshit, it's $129,  $129 for one men's SpiritHood.  Bros, if you're caught wearing one of these you're just way too desperate for some attention. 

Maybe if you're actually considering one of these you think, "Oh it's $129 because of the fur".  Well that isn't quite the case since each one of these is made of the "finest faux fur".  Trust me, I'm all for cutting down on the animal slaying especially for the sole purpose of getting an animal's fur, but I don't understand how this manufacturer actually expects the consumer to pay so much for fake fur.  Please don't let me see you in one of these... disgusting.

P.S. - Is this multi-colored eye guy freaking anyone else out?  No big deal, just a random shirtless dude with a pedophile-grip on some child.  I don't know what's worse, the implications of this snapshot or the "SpiritHoods".  Poor kid...

Muggs

Alright, so this is certainly a different kind of Bro style topic.  Brought to you by Tom Brady, Muggs.  BroCo N' Lime got some of these as a Christmas gift, but stood by his slippers throughout all the shit I gave him.  Before I knew it, another roommate had some.  The concept of wearing "Uggs" just seemed weird.  It was all funny until I actually tried the moccasins on, and let me tell you, they're simply amazing.  The Muggs slippers are probably the most comfortable, plush thing I have ever worn on my foot.

The outers are made of either sheepskin, leather, or suede, depending on which color/style of the slippers you choose.  The inside is an extremely soft wool fleece.  Since I'm a cheaper bastard, chances are that I won't spring for the $120 moccasins, its pretty outrageous.  All I'm saying is that if you have a birthday coming up, or you have the money and need moccasins, whatever, check these kicks out. 

I'll be the first to admit that I was put off by the idea of wearing a shoe that has become so widely known as a feminine boot for the ladies, but I'll also be the first to admit now that I've tried them, buying a pair is likely.  I just need to overcome my cheapness first.

Crash and Fuckin' Burn

So I'm getting a good pump on at the gym, that's what I'm there to do.  I've been focused on it throughout break, and have gone every day for the past 2 weeks even though I have to drive 20 minutes to get to the gym.  Things change when there's a CaveBro's dream babe is working out at the same time he is. 

It was still a decent lift, but the multiple occurrences of eye fucking was pretty distracting.  Some guys will say, "oh there's more man, don't worry", guys like my cousin who posted a threesome mid-way through his first semester at college and acted like it was nothing.  Maybe there is more for him, whether 1 or 2 at a time, but for me, just an average Bro, not necessarily good or bad looking, shit like this doesn't ever happen. 

Across the gym, while next to each other, and even when we're leaving at the same time, silence.  An infinite amount of openings.  What do I do? Nothing, I close everyone of those openings and shit down it's throat.  She even drove the same car as me and I didn't give my plane the chance to take off before it crashed and burned.  Pathetic.  I told my friend the morning of New Year's day, when I was still hammered, that this year was about me "not giving a fuck".  I'm not living up to the hype.  So now I ask myself, where the fuck did all the confidence go?  I don't know.

I do know that all that pussy shit is done.  It's time to move forward, and move forward strong.  The future begins on this day when the usually meaningless zodiac signs finally mean something to me.  It's time to move forward not as a Gemini, but a Taurus, a raging fucking bull.  It's go time.

The BroCave Loses Some Good Bros

Forbes - AOL is sometimes criticized for not having a strategy, but that couldn’t be more unfair. Heck, they’ve got a new one practically every quarter!

The latest involves consolidation of the company’s many content sites into a more manageable configuration. Two, the men’s site Asylum and the women’s site Lemondrop, are disappearing. What used to be Lemondrop will be absorbed into AOL’s other women’s offerings, while Asylum, lacking any other men’s properties with which to integrate, is being shuttered outright. It will cease publishing at the end of the month, according to several insiders, with its staffers being reassigned within AOL.

________________________________________________________________________________________


Despite being named the internet's 18th best blog of 2010 by Regator, Asylum, a predecessor to The BroCave, will be closed by AOL, Asylum's financial backer.  I any of you readers are looking to see some good stuff before the final day of it's existence, January 21, give Asylum a gander.  Writer of the rankings mentions, "despite being a woman, I'll be the first one to swipe the Esquire when it comes in the mail and I cannot get enough of Asylum."  She also goes on to say "Asylum covers sex, booze, pop culture, skateboarding animals, and everything else under the sun in a humorous, engaging way that (shhhhhhh) people of either gender will love."  Asylum will truly be missed,  good luck to the sophisticated writers and their future.  HOWEVER, that means yet another virtual door has opened for The BroCave to step into.  Keep on readin' on, CaveBros.

Debut of the Hoodie Blazer

 

The Big Shamrock himself whips out a new style on late night TV.  I'd jump on the Hoodie-Blazer bandwagon solely because Big Shaq Diesel is backing it.  I'm roaming eBay as we speak. What do you think Bros?

Say Goodbye to the Beard

Hamburg, NY - Until early afternoon today, it was just another day that Bills fans could celebrate the false hope of what the third overall pick in 2011's NFL draft would bring them.  Quarterback of the Buffalo Bills Ryan Fitzpatrick, formerly known as the "Amish Rifle", did his part to make the typical Bills fan's day just a bit more disappointing.  As the season progressed, the beard was honestly one of the only things I had to look forward to seeing when I watched a Bills game, and now it's gone.  "I'm fighting the tears right now," said Fitzpatrick sarcastically.  Fitzpatrick was forced to keep them beard the entire season by teammates after he initially only grew it out because he was lazy.  He came out nearly unrecognizable bearing a name tag saying "Hello, My Name is Ryan Fitzpatrick."  Come on Bro, you're better than that.  Now you just look like a 12-year-old boy.

Tommy Coughlin Will Return

According to Bob Glauber of Newsday, John Mara, Co-Owner of the New York Giants has spoken; "There was never any doubt."  Mara was of course referring to the status of Head coach Tom Coughlin, and if he would return next season.

"I believe in stability. You can’t build anything if you’re constantly making changes and firing people", said Mara.  This is one thing that many professional sports lack when they hit a rough patch, desperately looking for a way to recover and grasp onto their .

I'll use my disappointing Buffalo Bills as a prime example of this because it is so easy to.  Year after year the Western New York area has been filled with false hope for the past decade.  The Bills have mowed through 5 different head coaches in the past 10 years, not including this year's head coach, Chan Gailey.  In these past 10 years the Bills overall record was 66-94.  During none of these years were the Bills blessed with a guaranteed starting quarterback for any season.  It almost felt as though every year the Bills were on the edge of something by playing hard, but would fall apart due to injuries, coaching mistakes, and simply not having enough talent.  The truth is that the instability in within the desperate Bills organization has held them back.

This year the New York Giants went 10-6, and were squeezed out of the playoff picture.  Tom Coughlin's overall record as Head Coach of the Giants is 65-47 which equals a  .580 win percentage.  The last coach of the G-Men to compile a better record in his tenure was Bill Parcells who was 77-49, which is equivalent to a .611 win percentage.

The point is that this year was not an unsuccessful year.  Yes, New York's Football Giants failed to make the playoffs for the second consecutive year, the pressure will be on Tom to prevail next year.  However, the majority of "experts" predicted that the Giants would finish 2nd or worse in the division, many besides ESPN's analysts thought it would be another 8-8 season.  The truth is, when you have a centerpiece as important to your organization as Coughlin has been, whether its his record or the 2007 Super Bowl win, you do not simply let that stability and reliability fly out the door.

I understand that New York City is a place full of desire and emotions, but its time to look closely at your situation and be thankful for what you have in your football team.  2011 looks promising for the New York Football Giants.

The Sexting Silver Fox Strikes Again

 

RotoWorld - Despite Joe Webb's impressive game Tuesday night, interim coach Leslie Frazier is sticking with Brett Favre in the season finale if the veteran passes his concussion test.  After Tuesday night's game, it's fair to question whether Favre gives the Vikes a better chance to win. It would be nice to see Webb with a chance to build on his performance, though we can understand wanting to give Favre one more chance for a memorable moment in the last game of his career.
 

 

 

 After watching "Tuesday Night Football", the only thing I can say to this is "Are you fucking kidding me?!?"  Joe Webb, some Bro drafted to be a receiver steps in and plays quarterback, defeating the potential Super Bowl bound Philadelphia Eagles in his first start. 

I'm sorry, is the pussy known as Brad Childress still coaching the Vikes?  Besides that, time is running out to suspend Brett for the sexting festivities that Favre partook in, otherwise Jenn Sterger plans to sue the dick sexter.  I feel a lawsuit coming on.  Maybe Brett is in the middle of a conspiracy, and is telling Interim Head Coach Leslie Frazier that he can play, hoping there's a chance he gets suspended so he doesn't have to take his sexting to court.  But who wants to end a career like that?

I suppose you could argue that Brett wants that last memorable moment in the NFL, but he's had that moment at the end of each of the past 3 years.  But what if you don't give him that moment for what he yet again hints will be his final year in the NFL?  He isn't going to be inducted into the Hall of Fame as a Viking, everyone knows that, so what would Minnesota have to gain from the move?  Give the kid a chance Brett, your time is long beyond over, no one wants to see you literally die on the field.  A lot of people hate you, but it's actually becoming sad that you really can't let go. 

There have been a few of those near-death moments just this year alone.  Brett, remember when you were sleeping like a baby in a trainer's arms when you were carted off the field? Or how about when no name fill-in Arthur Moats leveled your shit in Buffalo?  Did that make you feel good?  That's the legacy that you're leaving behind you.  Not the gunslinger legacy that you're fighting through pain for your team to win the game, but that you're continually fighting every instinct and easily identifiable reason to stop playing football because of your mental instabilities you have associated with football, your obsession.  Get a hint Brett, stick to the Wrangler commercials, and stay away from the messaging plans at Verizon Wireless.

So Easy a CaveBro Can do it: Paris Hilton

Yep Bros, it's that time again.  Apparently Paris Hilton has been feeling a little left out of the celebrity gossip lately, and is on the verge of another sex tape being released.  The tape that is allegedly a recording of Paris, and now ex-boyfriend Doug Reinhardt is being shopped to a number of pornography outlets for roughly 1.4 million dollars.  I feel that the first tape had a ton of people excited with anticipation, and this sequel to it is almost falling under the radar.  Keep in mind Paris is still at the peak of her prime Bros.  At a spritely 29, she is still easy on the eyes.  While nothing is official yet, The BroCave will be sure to keep you posted on the status of Paris Hilton's next alleged production.  For the simple reason that she can't seem to keep her goods hidden between her legs, she has earned the "So Easy a CaveBro Can do it" award.

Happy Festivus Bros!

 

Today, December 23, is a very special day. It is in fact a Festivus for the rest of us, as Frank Costanza would say.  Any true Seinfeld fan knows exactly what I'm talking about.  If you don't like Seinfeld, try it out, the "Soup Nazi" is another classic.  Happy Festivus. Gather around the Festivus pole, eat dinner at 7:30, Airing of Grievances right after, and the Feats of Strength 9 PM. Do ittt.

A Bro in Need of a Quick Opinion

 

The song is called "Love Like Woe" by The Ready Set.  Try not to mind the weird music video of zombies with glowing eyes coming after a bunch of kids in a shack when taking into consideration how you feel about this song.  Between the autotune, that weird little effect at 0:13 that seems to be pretty popular in many recent songs, and this dude's hair flips, I'm unsure if its weird or not that I actually like this song a lot.  The first time I heard it I thought "what is this shit?", but every time since that I've become more and more attached to it.  The rhythm is addicting.  Any thoughts?
 

Nice Suspenders Bro

 

You gotta give this old guy some credit for trying to get out of the house and do something productive with his time, admirable.  But what was he thinking when he left his home to work up a sweat at the gym? "It may cause me 3rd degree chaffage wearing these jeans, but at least my jeans will stay up"?  Who wants to be hospitalized for chaffage of the goods?  That's what elastic is for bro, one of the greatest inventions of all time.  Throw the sweats on baby, Nike won't be coming out with any Dri-Fit suspenders any time soon for you.  But, I guess it's better than seeing this bro walking around the gym in those tiny running dickshorts.  Anyone who has ever been to the gym and seen some twig walking around in these awkward things knows exactly what I'm talking about.  I definitely vote suspenders & jeans over dickshorts any day of the week, you've proved your point Wiseman.  Touche Sir.

Get Your Ass to Wegmans!

 

I live with downstater Bros at college, none of which have ever been to a Wegmans.  They hear me talk about how fresh, and how much better Wegmans is as a whole compared to any other grocery store.  "It's only a grocery store", they say.  False.  Wegmans represents the quality that everyone expects when they go to buy food.  Tonight I just finished a fresh sub that they'll make for you on the fly just like any other sub joint: Subway, Quiznos, etc, except 1000 times better.  Last night I cooked up some crab cakes that i watched an employee prepare, some fresh scallops, and ravioli, all a Wegmans product.  Now they even have 30 Rock's Bro Alec Baldwin as a spokesperson for Wegmans, who earlier this year was on The Late Show with David Letterman boasting about Wegmans.  Wegmans has managed to excel as a regional company.  Hopefully they can remain successful within the region because you will not find a fresher aura at a grocery store than you do when you make a  shopping getaway stop Wegmans.   Get to Weggy's and check it out, it'll blow your mind!
 

Poll of the Week: Choke Artists

[polldaddy poll=4279893]

Are You Kidding Me Bro?

 
This here is my Bro Brian.  Thankfully this isn't actually his hat,  and we actually aren't really sure who the hat belongs to.  But we are tired of seeing this trash lying around in our room.  So if the owner of this piece of shit happens to see this, please come take it away immediately.  Now thinking on a larger level, American Eagle... What are you doing?  You used to be the shit I wanted because I hated those Abercrombie pricks and you were relatively affordable.  Now this?  This is the winter gear you're trying to sell me?  Brian actually put this on my head when I wasn't paying attention and I thought it was a dead cat.  Who wants to buy a dead cat for $30 or let alone anything.  I hate cats, dead or alive.  So AE, its time to pull your shit together, NOW.

 
 
 
 
P.S. - Thanks to Brian for trying striking a pose in this piece of shit for The BroCave. I can't imagine being half as excited as him to have that thing on my head.

T-Woods Going Deep

 

Newsweek - Last November, everything I thought I knew about myself changed abruptly, and what others perceived about me shifted, too. I had been conducting my personal life in an artificial way—as if detached from the values my upbringing had taught, and that I should have embraced.
       The physical pain from that car accident has long healed. But the pain in my soul is more complex and unsettling; it has been far more difficult to ease—and to understand. But this much is obvious now: my life was out of balance, and my priorities were out of order. I made terrible choices and repeated mistakes. I hurt the people whom I loved the most. And even beyond accepting the consequences and responsibility, there is the ongoing struggle to learn from my failings.
       At first, I didn’t want to look inward. Frankly, I was scared of what I would find—what I had become. But I’m grateful that I did examine my life because it has made me more grounded than I’ve ever been; I hope that with reflection will come wisdom. Golf is a self-centered game, in ways good and bad. So much depends on one’s own abilities. But for me, that self-reliance made me think I could tackle the world by myself. It made me think that if I was successful in golf, then I was invincible. Now I know that, no matter how tough or strong we are, we all need to rely on others.
       Slowly, I’m regaining the balance that I’d lost. My healing process is far from complete, but I am beginning to appreciate things I had overlooked before. I’m learning that some victories can mean smiles, not trophies, and that life’s most ordinary events can bring joy. Giving my son, Charlie, a bath, for example, beats chipping another bucket of balls. Making mac and cheese for him and his sister, Sam, is better than dining in any restaurant. Sharing a laugh watching cartoons or reading a book beats channel-surfing alone. Some nights now, it’s just me and the kids, an experience that’s both trying and rewarding. Probably like the experience a lot of families have every evening around the world.
       When I first came back to golf this spring, after taking a necessary break, I was worried about how fans would treat me. But they’ve been kinder and more supportive than I ever imagined possible. That’s true away from the golf course, too. When I go to the store, or to work out, or to grab lunch, I’ve been amazed by the considerate, encouraging words I hear. I’ve realized that those sentiments are not merely courtesies but generous expressions of compassion for which I’ll always be thankful.
       I have a lasting gratitude to those who stood by me in ways large and small. Unfortunately, opportunists are trying still to cash in on my troubles, no matter how irresponsible or ridiculous their claims may be. In many cases, I’ve never even met these people. But there’s no way I can dispute each lie without provoking more. Besides, everyone has probably heard more than they ever wanted to about my private life.
       I can never truly repair the damage I’ve done, especially to my family. But I can keep trying. What endures in the record books are the achievements won through competition. What endures in our actual lives is the love of our family and the respect of others. I know now that some things can and must change with time and effort. I’m not the same man I was a year ago. And that’s a good thing.

 

 If "T-Woods Going Deep" was the title of a post about Tiger one year ago, there's no way it would mean the same thing as it does now.  Once everyone was convinced they'd heard the last from Tiger this year, "Cheetah Woods" lets it all out right from the heart on this one.  Honestly, even if you're the most feminist bitch on the planet, how can you not be impressed?  This guy has done some stupid shit, shit that was made public before he even had a chance to admit to it.  He finally realizes how bad of a mistake he made when he smooshed with multiple trampy hefers, instead of staying true to his beautiful wife Elin and two kids.  Very unBro-like.  But shit happens and you've gotta move on. 

Now that he has only limited time with his kids, he's really starting to understand what he lost.  Next golf season, Tiger will come back more determined to win than ever.  Whether he will win a major next year is unknown, but he will have his pride, and continue to gain supporters.  Tiger Woods is a changed person.  Welcome back Bro.

What endures in the record books are the achievements won through competition. What endures in our actual lives is the love of our family and the respect of others.

                                                                -Tiger Woods

So Easy a CaveBro Can do it: Capri Anderson

Meet Capri Anderson.  This 22 year old porn star locked herself in the bathroom of a hotel room that she was sharing with 45 year year old Charlie Sheen who reportedly caused about $7,000 worth of damage to the room.  This came after the two had a dinner with Sheen's ex-wife and kids Denise Richards.  Both were naked and drugged up when the NYPD showed up to solve the mess.  Sheen is certainly holding true to his nickname in "Major League", the "Wild Thing".  Sheen is more than twice the age of Anderson.  Are you kidding me bro?  I may have to create a page based on Charlie Sheen's life, this guy clearly knows what he's doing.  A bro fo sho. 

More importantly, check her out.  Luckily I was able to find one of the rare photos of Capri with some kind of clothing on so I could post it on The BroCave, and I assure you that when you search her after you read this, you will not be disappointed with the many other results you find. 

So all in all, i've given alot of thought to who the first "So Easy a CaveBro Can do it" post would be, and as many ladies as there are around campus that may deserve this honor, Capri Anderson has outdone you.  Congratulations to you Capri, get it in bros.