Super Man Hangs Up His Cape

The big Bro king himself, Shaquille O'Neal, retired from the game on Wednesday after 19 seasons in the NBA. Shaq gave news of his retirement in style by use of the new social media service, Tout, a real time video messaging site. Always an innovator, the Big Diesel finished his career with 15 NBA All-Star appearances, 28,596 points, 3 NBA Finals MVP awards, the 2000 NBA MVP award, 1993 rookie of the year award, and over 6 different nick-names. The 39 year old stated his reason for retirement adding, "Father Time has caught up with Shaquille O'Neal." There is no doubt in my mind that he will be truly missed.

Oh no, does this mean his acting/rapping/police career is over too? Honestly though, Shaq was a man amongst boys during his time. The dude is 7 ft 1, 325 lbs; a living monster. His antics and entertainment ploys would never have been accepted if he didn't have the game to back it up; but he did. Shaq is hands down the best pure center to ever play the game and a sure first ballot, Hall of Famer. A four time NBA champion (three with the Lakers, one with the Heat) and fifth all time in scoring, Shaquille O'Neal is the ultimate bro.

Shaq it's been real, you have never ceased to stop entertaining me. I wont lie, I might have gotten a little tired of seeing your face after your latest "Shaq vs." reality stunt, but that doesn't change your legacy. You were the best; you can ball, act, kind of rap, and the fact that you can be unlocked in the UFC video game is beyond awesome. I'll miss you man and I hope Shazzam is aired on repeat for the next week. Enjoy the retirement big guy.

-Broverload

LeBrick Chokes, But Shamrocks Run Out of Luck

Here's an entry from a potential new BroCave writer, let me know what you guys think... Vote 5 stars to get this Bro an account, 1 star for no Bro status.

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If you’re a Bro then you were watching the Heat-Celtics game tonight, and I pray that you all WITNESSED the Heat giving the worst closer in the game the final shot in regulation.  That’s right, LeBron James got the ball with twenty seconds left in a tie ball game and got stripped worse than Candy Bottom at the Topless Cabana.  

LeBrick got the chance at the last shot over “team leader”, Dwayne Wade, to try and get a leg up over the Celtics and take a 3-1 series lead.  Are you kidding me Bro? LeBron with the last shot? Has the last 8 years of him sucking on buzzer beaters meant nothing? Good call Spoelstra, you wouldn’t ever want to win the game and give the ball to, I don’t know, anyone else but LeBron?

At least the Celtics roster has an average age of 45 and couldn’t move during overtime to tie up the series.  Was anyone else thinking that if the Celtics won the game, all we would hear about for the next 4 years on SportsCenter is how LeBron got stripped on the last play? Besides Charles Barkley, I can’t stand hearing NBA analysts, but I hate it even more when they talk about the Heat. They lose one game, and it’s a National crisis.

I can see it now. “LeBron, you got stripped for the last shot, should Wade have shot it? Do you want to cry? What on earth will the Heat do to rebound?…..” 

No one cares. The answer to all those questions is that the man just sucks with a minute left and the Heat are fools for even giving him the ball. Bros, thank the sport gods that the Heat pulled it off so we don’t have to avoid SportsCenter Brett Favre style for the next month and turn our morning television pleasures to ABC Family.  

Keep at it LeBron, we’re all hoping you stop missing, not for your sake, but for the sake of watching SportCenter.

-Broverload

The Queen is Feeling the Heat

The 63rd game of the long NBA regular season has past, and the Miami Heat still have not found a way to win when it counts.  Following the game, Head Coach Erik Spoelstra announced in his postgame interview that there were "a couple of guys crying in the locker room."  Right now everything is working against "El Heat".

This helps prove that Erik Spoelstra should not be the Head Coach for a team with so many superstars.  Yes it is true that the Heat are shooting 5% in late-game situations, and one can't blame Spoelstra for that.  However, that doesn't mean it is a good idea to announce that tears are being shed in the locker room just because he is frustrated that his team is not clutch.  Spoelstra continued on, trying to clean up the mess he created by stating how important the regular season is the the players, and that's why they were crying.  If the Heat cannot handle the pressure of the regular season, how will the pressure of the NBA Playoffs be tolerated?

Lebron James proved during his years in Cleveland that he cannot make the final shot.  Aside from a bomb that he launched against the Orlando Magic 2 years ago to seal a game, I can't remember any other.  Although he is considered arguably the best player in the league, he is not the most important player on his team.  The Miami Heat are still Dwayne Wade's team, and though Wade did take one of the two final missed shot in the latest choke episode versus the Chicago Bulls, the ball is not in his hands enough during late-game situations.  Dwayne Wade has a ring, he knows how to win the big games, so why not trust Miami's top man with the ball at the end of a game?

This was not a game 7, Finals loss that everyone sacrificed through pain to win, this is just another game that the Heat could not finish in the middle of the regular season.  It may not be until Pat Riley resurrects his coaching career that the Heat can come close to achieving champion status unless Erik Spoelstra learns how to manage and implement changes to his current under-manned, failing team.  After all the hype, a championship is the only thing that will label the new-look Heat as a success. 

As the year continues to take it's toll on the emotionally drained Heat, it's not only crunch-time for the players to make big shots down the stretch, but also for Erik Spoelstra to prove himself as a worthy adversary to Queen Lebron's realm by controlling the pieces on his team.  The question is, can the Miami Heat ride out the storm of the regular season, and pull the pieces together for the NBA Playoffs?