Keep Your Eye on the Ball: The Stuart Scott Story

It's finally time bros. The wait is no longer. I am about to let you guys in on a little secret that every sports fan wants to know. This untouchable gem of information is not only a great piece of knowledge to pass down to the children; but is the next big icebreaker, pick up line and family dinner conversation piece. It's a question that every single sports fan has asked themselves 1000 times. Ready? The question is: What the hell happened to Stuart Scott's eye?! Is it lazy? Is it glass? I don't know, but it stares at me half the time and my dad across the room the other half. Stuart Scott is such a bro, but unfortunately loses some credit for how he became Snake Eyes Scott.

Scott has had eye problems his entire life but he didn't become an eye sore (awesome pun) until 2002 while doing a story for ESPN. Scott was out participating in the New York Jets mini camp to show viewers the life of a NFL player during camp. Scott was participating in wide receiver drills and was supposedly not to shabby until he had to take a turn with the Juggs Machine. God damn the Juggs Machine. The speed spitting, anchor hating monster, is something we've all seen; it's used in baseball and football to shoot balls at high speeds. Scott went up to the machine and stood way to close and got rocked square in the eye with a football. He immediately fell to the floor. He required over 10 eye surgeries after the incident and it is still in fact his real eye.

I can not believe that warlock is his real eye. Either way, I am so relieved and a little disappointed that I now know how Scott received his wandering eye. I mean, I have an easy way to start conversation at the bar, "Yo Girl, you know Stuart Scott's eye? Yeah, I know what happened to it", but the magical lore of not knowing is just gone. It's bittersweet. Well, now all of you finally know the truth of Stuart Scott; he just couldn't keep his eye on the ball.

-Broverload

Bro of the Week: Jacques Caron

Welcome former professional hockey player, and goaltending coach for the New Jersey Devils, Jacques Caron to The BroCave.  From the moment I met this man bearing the Stanley Cup at a local restaurant, it was clear to me that he is a boss. As goaltending coach for the New Jersey Devils in their prime years, he is often credited with recognizing Martin Brodeur's talent, and turning it into success, acting as a father figure to Brodeur.  During his tenure on the Devils staff, Caron has won 3 Stanley Cups.

Now Jacques still serves as a contributing assistant to the Devils, but at the spritely age of 71, his role is limited.  After 71 years, this legend finally played beer pong for the first time.  On the shores of Cayuga Lake, it was only fitting that Jacques paired up with former Bro of the Week, Bennett Myer.  After "Team Bro's" stunning loss in the intense battle of Caron's first game of BP he claimed, "I'm a defensive player, but I really thought I had a few."  As you can see from the video, Mr. Caron didn't take the loss lightly, leaving after not sinking a single cup.  But with a cougar in one hand, and a full SOLO cup of wine in the other, he taught Bros everywhere a valuable lesson: you're never too old to party.  That makes the 71 year old, 3 time Stanley Cup winner, beer pong playing, cougar killer Jacques Caron the newest Bro of the Week.

Super Man Hangs Up His Cape

The big Bro king himself, Shaquille O'Neal, retired from the game on Wednesday after 19 seasons in the NBA. Shaq gave news of his retirement in style by use of the new social media service, Tout, a real time video messaging site. Always an innovator, the Big Diesel finished his career with 15 NBA All-Star appearances, 28,596 points, 3 NBA Finals MVP awards, the 2000 NBA MVP award, 1993 rookie of the year award, and over 6 different nick-names. The 39 year old stated his reason for retirement adding, "Father Time has caught up with Shaquille O'Neal." There is no doubt in my mind that he will be truly missed.

Oh no, does this mean his acting/rapping/police career is over too? Honestly though, Shaq was a man amongst boys during his time. The dude is 7 ft 1, 325 lbs; a living monster. His antics and entertainment ploys would never have been accepted if he didn't have the game to back it up; but he did. Shaq is hands down the best pure center to ever play the game and a sure first ballot, Hall of Famer. A four time NBA champion (three with the Lakers, one with the Heat) and fifth all time in scoring, Shaquille O'Neal is the ultimate bro.

Shaq it's been real, you have never ceased to stop entertaining me. I wont lie, I might have gotten a little tired of seeing your face after your latest "Shaq vs." reality stunt, but that doesn't change your legacy. You were the best; you can ball, act, kind of rap, and the fact that you can be unlocked in the UFC video game is beyond awesome. I'll miss you man and I hope Shazzam is aired on repeat for the next week. Enjoy the retirement big guy.

-Broverload

Bro Tunes: Millz

In this edition of Bro Tunes, we have Shamar Dozier, aka Millz. This PA young gun began rapping for kicks before the beginning of his Junior year of high school, and now at the age of only 17, he's beginning to take it seriously. Millz pumps out as many as 5 songs per day, using his own equipment (laptop and mic), and will finally be getting into a professional studio this summer.

Meanwhile, he's fresh off a release of his most recent mixtape, "Chapter 4: Highschool Sweetheart", which was released yesterday. Check his beats on YouTube or HotNewHipHop, and support Millz with a Like on Facebook. Coming soon to an iPod near you: Millz.

Josh Elliot: The Ultimate Bro Traitor

Former "SportsCenter" anchor, Josh Elliot, left ESPN this month to be the new host of ABC's, "Good Morning America". Elliot joined ESPN in 2004 as a guest panelist for "Around the Horn" and "Jim Rome is Burning". Making his mark on sports fans around the nation, Elliot quickly became the morning co-host of the number one watched show, "SportsCenter" just four years later. ESPN bids Josh a nice farewell and good fortune at his new job.

Josh Elliot what the hell is wrong with you?! You had the greatest job in the world and threw it away for what? Sipping morning coffee with the girls, discussing your monthly cycles? I'm ashamed. Your job consisted of delivering sports to the world with some of the hottest middle aged co-anchors (Hannah Storm) and hanging out with everyone's favorite athletes. People would have killed to be you, but that's all gone now. I hope Sam Champion and the gang welcomed you with open arms because you will never be welcomed back into the sports world. I almost looked up to you bro, almost.

Josh I wish I could bid you farewell but instead I just have to shake my head and wonder why. Why give up every sports fans dream? If Good Morning America is really all you've ever wanted then I feel sorry for you and your family. The ridicule your children must be receiving in school has to be off the charts. While you've baffled me, I'm sure stay at home moms around the nation are cheering for you. You had it all, Ultimate Bro-traitor.

-Broverload

Thank You, Gracias, Merci!

The BroCave has now officially been viewed each country in North America multiple times, including being viewed in each state of the USA multiple times, and has spanned widely across South America and Europe.  Thank you for the continued support to anyone who has read once in a while, all the time, or doubted The BroCave right from the beginning. 

But it doesn't stop here.  Up until a week ago, The BroCave has been a one man show, designed, operated, and written by myself.  I now welcome Cody Carbone (Broverload) to the scene, and have 3 more potential writers interested in contributing.  The sky is the limit.  If you have any interest in contributing, please don't hesitate to contact The BroCave at thebrocave@yahoo.com with some sample material, and don't forget to submit tips that will make our jobs easier.  Who knows, you could be a part of something special.  Thanks again Bros, keep on reading on.

Beadle Vs. Andrews, Who Ya Got?

 First, let's talk looks...

If you watch a considerable amount of ESPN, then you get your fair share of Michelle Beadle.  Especially with the free time in college, I could watch the same SportsNation a few times in one day.  With that said, Beadle is starting to look old, and I feel like I don't see enough of Erin Andrews.  There's no doubt the 35 year old's body still has some talent left. 

By not slipping a peek at the infamous Erin Andrews reverse peephole video, you aren't really missing much (but come on, you've gotta watch it).  There's no doubt the body is there, but the details aren't, and I'm not yet desperate enough to dissect it for some.  With or without the details, EA, the 2007 and 2008 award winner for Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster, takes the prize.  Not only is Andrews proven (shown by her bikini pics), but Nobody gets bitched out when she comes on air.

Leading to the next topic, TV skills...

Michelle Beadle and Colin Cowherd are teamed up for ESPN's SportsNation.  In this case, Cowherd actually hurts Beadle.  I don't usually mind listening to Cowherd, but often he makes an analysis that any typical sports fan that has never played a sport in their life would make, a stupid one.  Maybe that gives Beadle some justification for the attitude on air, I'll accept it.  Cowherd's questionable views leave the door wide open for Beadle most of the time, but rarely do I see her killing it, she gets the job done, but without style points, or a challenge.  I can't say much about her days working as the New Jersey Nets sideline reporter, who honestly watches Nets games on the YES Network anyway?  Plus, Beadle is a Jets fan, not helping her case.

Even while she was in school at Florida University, Erin Andrews was in the spotlight as a 3-year member of the Gators basketball dance team.  Not a bad start.  Since joining the broadcasting scene in 2000, EA has reported for nearly every sport including, hockey, different levels of football and baseball, and even the Outdoor Games.  She matches the knowledge Beadle about the wide world of sports, making for a tight race.  She currently hosts College Gameday, and acts as a Good Morning America correspondent, beating out Beadle in the TV credentials category.  Plus, she's not a Jets fan, any other team is better.  Andrews wins the edge again.

The Outcome...

Big Bad Beadle puts up a killer fight in this heavyweight faceoff.  Yes, Beadle's rebellious affair with ESPN's NHL analyst Matthew Barnaby (who is in the midst of a divorce and assault charge) sparks some interest, and might point to her as being the more exciting option.  But in the end, EA takes the crown as the safe, sexy sports broadcaster, banging out the win Every. Damn. Time.  But then again, Beadle does bite the hell out of that hot dog...

What do you think Bros?  Vote 1 Star for Beadle, Vote 5 Stars for E-Andrews.