Bro of the Week: Mikhail Prokhorov

Some may say Brobama, "Why is Mikhail Prokhorov the Bro of the Week?" Others may say, "Who the fuck is Mikhail Prokhorov?"  He is the multi-billionaire, Russian majority owner of the New Jersey Nets by an 80% stake.

Often America is not used to his aggressive style of business, but I love it!  This guy has actually said in high profile interviews that he enjoys watching the New York Knicks suffer.  By understanding that giving up on the Carmelo Anthony chase would make it easier for the Knicks to acquire Melo, Prokhorov went out of his way to make it more difficult.  It's easy to get in a trance of the media conveying a very politically correct, friendly business atmosphere between many sports organizations internally, so it is relieving to see that someone has an edge.

Most NBA owners resemble a Johnnie Walker Blue Label on the rocks, and Mikhail Prokhorov is changing it up by hauling in the hookers & Stoli.  Prokhorov has yet to strike success in America, but he is becoming more of an innovator in controlling a professional sports franchise with every passing day.

More news has been breaking that Prokhorov insists it is a win-win situation for the Nets whether they acquire Carmelo or not, as long as it's harder on the Knickerbockers.  Now that the Knicks have officially traded for the rights of Carmelo Anthony, it's apparent that the Nets are targeting all of the players that the Knicks just traded to the Denver Nuggets in the "Melo-Drama". 

How nabbing former Knicks players from the Nuggets will help the Nets, I'm not sure, but the thought is there.  The Nets may or may not make a move before the trade deadline to acquire Danilo Gallinari or Raymond Felton, but a move will be made for someone.  It's hard to imagine that someone as successful as Mikhail Prokhorov has ever lost in his life, and he has brought that same must-win attitude to America and the NBA.  He will do whatever it takes to win.

Prokhorov got to this high point as one of Russia's leading industrialists in the precious metals sector, running Norilsk Nickel, and as chairman of Polyus Gold.   But who really cares about that?  Now he's out to screw the Knicks, he's sipping champagne with Jay-Z, and ordering prostitutes for Christmas parties.  Does life get any better for a Bro?  I say no.  The world's 39th richest man, Михаил Прохоров, is your Bro of the Week.

Is There Any Chance the Slam Dunk Contest Isn't Rigged?

So Blake Griffin is absolutely amazing to watch, and I was rooting for him just like almost everyone else to win this thing in the beginning.  It could be that I wanted him to win because he is great to watch, or the fact that I don't know who any of the other players in the dunk contest are.  But now the NBA just looks silly.

Demar DeRozan jumps farther than Dr. J jumped on his famous dunk, yet he only posts a 45 score.  JaVale McGee dunks 2 balls at once, then 3 balls at once, and still falls short of Griffin's scores. 

If Griffin doesn't reach the final round, there is no sponsorship that Kia paid for that happens.  The addition of the gospel choir is certainly different, it adds to the presentation and originality.  But then again, they don't come out on the floor if Blake Griffin doesn't advance.  What are you supposed to do with a Gospel Choir with nothing to do?  Plus, the final vote comes down to the fans. 

What fans would honestly vote for JaVale McGee over Blake Griffin as a fan? No one.  MAYBE some Wizard fans.  The NBA has failed this year, really magnifying how potentially fake it is.  This is why Men's College Basketball continues to be the most popular choice of basketball to watch.  Any chance of me watching the NBA All-Star game is now gone.

This Week in BroLinks - 2/18/2011

FilmDrunk - A bunch of weird/cool movie posters that Poland apparently uses.

ScreenJunkies - Justin Beiber is dead.

Huffington Post - Mark Buehrle loves dogs, hates Mike Vick.

YouTube - Roll Tide.

Barstool U - Some witty tips from some pros on how to get away after a hook-up.

DeadSpin - Adventures in Pant Stuffing.  Enough said.

Guyism - Finally something I can fit my fat ass in, maybe you too?

Kickstarter - So far, the poverty stricken city of Detroit has raised almost $60,000, not really something that would help out the community's poor fiscal situation.  Detroit claims they "need" a RoboCop statue, and they're doing all they can to make it happen.

A Sad Day for the Bro Community

At the age of 88, Seinfeld's "Uncle Leo", Len Lesser, has passed away.  From the painted on angry eyebrows, to getting caught shoplifting books, Leo was always a treat for Seinfeld fans.  He died from pnemonia related to cancer.  A great comedian & actor, Len Lesser will be a Bro forever, and will be missed.

Bro Tunes: Donnis Edition

Donnis is an up and coming guy in the underground rap world. While this song was released a couple months ago, this song is on most of my playlists. Such a chill song. This guy has so much potential and hopefully Atlantic Records can take this guy to the top. He just released another song called "Me and My Boo." Check this shit out, I promise you won't be disappointed. It's an instant download without a doubt. Keep your eyes open for this guy in the future because he could be big. Especially if he keeps coming out with tracks like this.

Urban Dictionary: Bro Cave

The designated zone for a group of bros to chill, bro out or get fucked up. The bro cave can take many forms: a dorm room, living room, bedroom or an apartment are all acceptable.

Flat screen, Playstation 3, and a dope speaker system are a must to satisfy all bro-quirements. Marijuana and alcohol consumption are always acceptable when the Bro Cave is in session. Bonus points to any bro cave that has a percy bong, vaporizer, or both.

Hoes are welcome into the cave, but if they start fucking with the cave's Bro-flow, they must vacate the bro cave.

Non-bros, or brokillers, are never allowed into the cave, no matter what the circumstances - however potential bros are always welcome to smoke some bowls or drink some beers with established Bros in the Bro Cave.


Bro #1: Yo bro, wanna go hit a few bowls and sesh some FIFA '10 up in the bro cave?

Bro #2: Hell yeah brotha, let's strap on our bowlerskates!

Bro #1: Yeeeee, strap em on nice and tight!

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Sack Up

I'm relaxing in my room right now, just flicked the TV on to the Kansas-Kansas St. game.  It could be because I'm wiped out from the 'Cuse game, maybe it's that I have tons of work to get finished, or I just want to watch this game, but it's neither one.  My roommates are sitting in the living room on this snowy Valentine's Day, watching none other than "Valentine's Day". 

Some, especially females would say there's nothing wrong with that.  But there is so much wrong with that Bros.  What is this world coming to when Bros are watching a legit chick flick like this? It's not even one of those borderline movies that you can defend, especially with all the company being dudes.  The movie poster is a heart.  Need I say more?  Plus, there's a huge rivalry college basketball game on ESPN, a number 1 about to get knocked off.  This holiday is all about Hoes, it's time to sack up Bros.