Good Morning, Good Afternoon, & Good Night

 

To be honest, I thought the Connecticut Huskies were going to win out and continue the streak into next year.  I guess that shows me how much I know about Women's College Basketball. 

After 90 games, the UCONN winning streak has finally been ended by the Cardinal of Stanford.  I also learned that the streak wasn't actually the longest in Division I NCAA sports as the Penn State Women's Volleyball team won 109 consecutive games.  So the UCONN Women's basketball team did not in fact have the longest winning streak in Division I history, which is claimed by the Nittany Lions. 

So i guess this means UCONN owns the longest Women's basketball streak.  Clearly its quite an honor in a sport with so many tight games, and the spotlight always shining on women's sports.  Any publicity the Huskies had is now nonexistent.

At least this means the ESPN network can take UCONN off ESPN 2 and maybe play a flashbacks of old college football games, which is guaranteed to generate more excitement and a larger viewing audience than any 5 women's basketball games.

The Sexting Silver Fox Strikes Again

 

RotoWorld - Despite Joe Webb's impressive game Tuesday night, interim coach Leslie Frazier is sticking with Brett Favre in the season finale if the veteran passes his concussion test.  After Tuesday night's game, it's fair to question whether Favre gives the Vikes a better chance to win. It would be nice to see Webb with a chance to build on his performance, though we can understand wanting to give Favre one more chance for a memorable moment in the last game of his career.
 

 

 

 After watching "Tuesday Night Football", the only thing I can say to this is "Are you fucking kidding me?!?"  Joe Webb, some Bro drafted to be a receiver steps in and plays quarterback, defeating the potential Super Bowl bound Philadelphia Eagles in his first start. 

I'm sorry, is the pussy known as Brad Childress still coaching the Vikes?  Besides that, time is running out to suspend Brett for the sexting festivities that Favre partook in, otherwise Jenn Sterger plans to sue the dick sexter.  I feel a lawsuit coming on.  Maybe Brett is in the middle of a conspiracy, and is telling Interim Head Coach Leslie Frazier that he can play, hoping there's a chance he gets suspended so he doesn't have to take his sexting to court.  But who wants to end a career like that?

I suppose you could argue that Brett wants that last memorable moment in the NFL, but he's had that moment at the end of each of the past 3 years.  But what if you don't give him that moment for what he yet again hints will be his final year in the NFL?  He isn't going to be inducted into the Hall of Fame as a Viking, everyone knows that, so what would Minnesota have to gain from the move?  Give the kid a chance Brett, your time is long beyond over, no one wants to see you literally die on the field.  A lot of people hate you, but it's actually becoming sad that you really can't let go. 

There have been a few of those near-death moments just this year alone.  Brett, remember when you were sleeping like a baby in a trainer's arms when you were carted off the field? Or how about when no name fill-in Arthur Moats leveled your shit in Buffalo?  Did that make you feel good?  That's the legacy that you're leaving behind you.  Not the gunslinger legacy that you're fighting through pain for your team to win the game, but that you're continually fighting every instinct and easily identifiable reason to stop playing football because of your mental instabilities you have associated with football, your obsession.  Get a hint Brett, stick to the Wrangler commercials, and stay away from the messaging plans at Verizon Wireless.

Thank God for Tebow's TDs

 
During Tebow's time spent at University of Florida, he used to write bible verses on his eye black, under his eyes.  The action was eventually deemed inappropriate by both the NCAA and the NFL.  Avid God-lover Tim Tebow has found a loophole to the league's ban of religion involving flamboyancy of beliefs.  Instead of writing verses under his eyes, Tebow wrote a verse thought to be 2: 10-11 on his forearm where any other rookie's playbook helper would be. 

Verse 2: 10-11 reads, "But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord." 

By the way he acts, I'm actually beginning to think that Tim Tebow is Christ reborn.  I'm no religion expert by any means, it's the cause of too many disagreements, major and minor.  But, the guy seems to be the perfect human being.  The real question is, can he win a Super Bowl?    I guess only time will tell us that.  Until then, I'll enjoy watching him grow as a player, fighting passionately week in and out to win games as I have the past two weeks and during his collegiate career.  At least that will tell us if God is a good Offensive Coordinator or not.  As far as Timmy's religion goes, I really don't care.  It's cool that he likes to show what he believes in, but at a certain point I feel like he'd realize we got the message.  There are roughly 2000 players in and out of the NFL every year meaning there are a number of religions that are supported.  Keep the religion off the field where it belongs. 

In the meantime Bros, send some prayers to the 1st place "Church of Tebow" to defeat the 2 seed "JetsFan17" this week in the Fantasy Football Championship.  Some cash and serious bragging rights are on the line this weekend.  Lucked out last week, and I'm going to assume Timmy Tebow and God did that favor for me.  Thanks Bros, keep up the good work.
 

So Easy a CaveBro Can do it: Paris Hilton

Yep Bros, it's that time again.  Apparently Paris Hilton has been feeling a little left out of the celebrity gossip lately, and is on the verge of another sex tape being released.  The tape that is allegedly a recording of Paris, and now ex-boyfriend Doug Reinhardt is being shopped to a number of pornography outlets for roughly 1.4 million dollars.  I feel that the first tape had a ton of people excited with anticipation, and this sequel to it is almost falling under the radar.  Keep in mind Paris is still at the peak of her prime Bros.  At a spritely 29, she is still easy on the eyes.  While nothing is official yet, The BroCave will be sure to keep you posted on the status of Paris Hilton's next alleged production.  For the simple reason that she can't seem to keep her goods hidden between her legs, she has earned the "So Easy a CaveBro Can do it" award.

Steve Nash to the Celtics?

Obviously when a fan's team spurts for a 14 game winning streak, a fan can only be happy.  After watching the terrible let down by the Perkinless, Rondoless, Westless Celtics, but more specifically back-up Point Guard/Shooting Guard Nate Robinson, I began thinking about any possible addition that my Celtics could swing prior to the NBA trading deadline.  Little Nate shot 2-15 from the field today, unacceptable but not something that is unexpected from the erratic guard, a poor fit for taking over for Rondo's duties while he is injured.  With his size and lack of consistency, I don't think the Celtics would be hurting themselves if they give Nate up in a trade, especially if Steve Nash was coming back in return.

I listed numerous reasons that support Steve Nash coming to Boston, and a one single reason that work against that possibility.  Beginning with the reasons that the scenario would not work, the Celtics may or may not have enough pieces to make the move for Nash.  Most of the Celtics roster is off-limits for a trade as GM Danny Ainge wouldn't want to kill the current synergy that the team shares.  Meaning chances are that Nate Robinson, Semih Erden, Von Wafer, Delonte West, Avery Bradley, and Luke Harangody are the select few that could be available, not the most enticing group of players to say the least.  But if the Suns are indeed entering a rebuilding stage, which is my thought, then recieving youth in return for the old, former 2-time MVP isn't such a bad thing.  Plus, the Celtics have draft picks to offer as well.

Like I just mentioned, I believe the Phoenix Suns are entering a rebuilding stage.  This began when the Suns made a laughable effort to resign the talents of Amare Stoudemire.  GM Steve Kerr was able to acquire Hedo Turkoglu and Jason Richardson in an attempt to put some pieces around Nash.  That obviously hasn't lasted long as the Suns have traded away both Turkoglu and Richardson for the expiring contract of a Vince Carter past his prime.  Carter will not be returning after this season.  I compare the Suns to the Washington Wizards, look at the Wizard teams through the past 3 years.  The Wizards, like the Suns, were expected to put a solid run together to make the NBA Finals the past few years, carrying names such as Gilbert Arenas, Caron Butler, Antawn Jamison, Brendan Haywood, and Deshawn Stevenson.  At the same time the Suns roster still had Amare Stoudemire, Jason Richardson, Leandro Barbosa, Boris Diaw, Matt Barnes, Raja Bell, and the Big Shaqtus.  Both teams have clearly revamped their rosters compared to what they currently look like.  None of the players just mentioned are currently still playing for that same team, and these aren't really just mediocre players either.

Steve Nash wants a ring.  The passion that Nash plays with game in and game out are proof of his desire to win, something that won't be accomplished with the Suns, a team in shambles.   For this reason, Boston seems to be Nash's perfect fit.  I took a peek at the current top 6 teams in each league, none of which suited Nash better than the Celtics.  The C's are an old team, yes, but all have taken pay cuts with one goal, to win.  The moment the "Big 3" united in Boston, all individual matters drifted away.  Nash is due to make just above 10 million dollars in a contract ending in 2012.  He could probably manage to keep the same salary if he went to Boston, but would probably be asked to take a small pay-cut.

Also, the Celtics and Suns do have experience with trading with each other.  Phoenix shipped Rajon Rondo and Brian Grant to Boston for underachieving Marcus Banks and the Celtics future first round that had been the Cleveland Cavalier's (projected to be a top 10 pick).  That pick ended up being the 24th pick in the draft, Rudy Fernandez, who was immediately traded to the Portland Trail Blazers for trash and cash.  So, these teams are not unfamiliar with each other (By the way, thanks for Rajon Rondo Phoenix).  It would only make sense for the Suns to get some value, and send Nash to a contender before he's too far over the hill to compete.

Overall I think this would make sense for everyone, between the two teams, to the players that would be involved.  Steve Nash is a bro that wants some jewelry, and he can get it in Boston because he would mesh perfectly with the veteran stocked team.  Will it happen? Maybe not. Can it happen? Absolutely.

A Christmas Story or The Celtics?

 

Every year my family has Christmas at my Grandparent's house.  Usually before and after we eat, there will be a bit of a scrum for power over the television.  I understand that it is Christmas, I can respect that, but "A Christmas Story" may be the most over-played movie every year even though its only played during one week each year.  It's a classic, yes, but we've all seen it... "I want a BB gun", "no", "his tongue is stuck to a pole", "we have a flat tire", "FUCK", "wash his mouth out with soap", "I want a BB gun", "I got a BB gun", "I shot my eye out", "the meal is burnt", "let's go eat chinese".  Yep, there you go.  Plus, who wouldn't rather watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation over "A Christmas Story"?  Chevy Chase is watchable year round, not just Christmas. 

Now, my Boston Celtics are on a 14 games winning streak, looking for 15 against the in-conference rival Orlando Magic.  This is certainly a game I can watch the highlights for on SportsCenter, but that's not acceptable.  You could've watched "A Christmas Story" all week, and if you didn't that's too bad.  You can't always get what you want, unless you take it for yourself.  Those remotes have Brobama written all over them.  Don't be afraid to take control Bros, take back what is yours, the television.

Sports on Christmas?

1st off Merry Christmas!  This Christmas Day there are several NBA games being played throughout the day and one NFL game on at night.  I don't know about all of you but I am not fond of there being professional games played on Christmas Day.  Christmas is such a family oriented holiday.  Athletes should not have to play on Christmas Day, they should be home with their families relaxing and enjoying the holiday.   Lebron James stated in an interview that "We always say it's good for the fans. But the fans get an opportunity to see us all year. We've got TV games all year. We've got a TV game on Thursday (in Phoenix). I don't care for it too much." You might be thinking "for what he is being paid he shouldn't care if he play on holidays;" well he is a human being too and the leagues should have the decency to realize that there are more important things than making money. 

Thanksgiving is a different story.  It has been a long time tradition in the NFL to play on Thanksgiving and when you think of Thanksgiving you think of turkey, pie, and football.  I am not sure about all of you but I don't usually watch NBA on Christmas even if my favorite team is playing.  Another thing is, if you are going to have games played on Christmas why do only some teams play and the rest have the day off?  I just do not think the athletes should miss time with they're families on such a special holiday.  Yes, some players might not celebrate the holiday, but then give them a day off today so that they can just celebrate with their families. 

Let me know what you all think and have a happy and safe holiday.

The Next Michael Oher?

 

Is Sandra Bullock living her in film life of "The Blind Side" in real life?  This is her and adopted son Louis Bardot (Mini Michael Oher).  Remember this though mini Mike...

"Michael Oher listen to me, all right? I want you to enjoy yourself but if you get a girl pregnant out of wedlock I will crawl in the car, drive up here to Oxford and I will cut off your penis."

Leigh Anne Tuohy

More Proof That Cats Suck.

 
Malibu Times - A dog that fell into a two-foot-wide and 60-foot-deep hole was rescued by firefighters Tuesday. The dog, a French bulldog named Rocky, fell into a septic drill hole while walking with his owner, Victor, around 9 a.m. They were walking in Malibu up Corral Canyon.

"There were boards across the hole, but they were rotting, so when he walked across them he fell in," said Barbara Calandra, the owner's mother. "There was water in the bottom of the hole because of the rain, and it was just enough that he could keep his head above water."

When firefighters responded, they used a laundry basket with lunchmeat inside it to get Rocky to climb in. After about 45 minutes, Rocky made it back to the surface without any injuries.

The next day, when Rocky returned to the same path on his walk, he refused to go anywhere near the 60-foot-deep hole, Barbara Calandra said.

 
 

Tell me, if this was a cat in a two foot wide, 60 foot deep hole, would firefighters have made the effort to retrieve the cat?  Probably not.  They would fill the hole with water to see if it floats.  First of all, the cat would have most likely managed to drown in the water at the bottom of the septic drill hole from the rain.  Besides me hating cats for their shedding and surprise claws, they're idiots.   Even if there was catnip inside the laundry basket the cat would either already have been dead or would just rub against the basket and tease the firefighters.  The next day, Rocky even stayed far away from that hole, remembering the prior day's event.  Guaranteed that your average, stupid cat would find its way back into that same hole the next day.  Dogs 4 Life Bros.

ATTENTION READERS

 

Please take just a few moments to read this.  Thank you to all of those that have been hanging in there in the Facebook group, I truly appreciate the support.  Whether you're reading my posts or not, it's nice to see you bros are still present.  Eventually the plan is to expand, I’ve already added a new, second author to The BroCave who will begin to contribute soon.  The purchase of an actual domain name for The BroCave will happen at some point in the near future.  For this reason I’m asking you bros to take some time to add at least people to the group.  At this point, in the introduction stage of The BroCave, any publicity is good publicity; I’d just like to get the number of readers increased from what it is currently.  You’ve got to start somewhere.  The blog is directed mostly towards males, but obviously I encourage females to read as well.  So I’m asking for your help, to get me one of the top things on my Christmas list, more readers.  The more the merrier, that way, more are likely to catch on.  Happy Holidays, and thank you for reading.  Read on Bros.

Happy Festivus Bros!

 

Today, December 23, is a very special day. It is in fact a Festivus for the rest of us, as Frank Costanza would say.  Any true Seinfeld fan knows exactly what I'm talking about.  If you don't like Seinfeld, try it out, the "Soup Nazi" is another classic.  Happy Festivus. Gather around the Festivus pole, eat dinner at 7:30, Airing of Grievances right after, and the Feats of Strength 9 PM. Do ittt.

A Bro in Need of a Quick Opinion

 

The song is called "Love Like Woe" by The Ready Set.  Try not to mind the weird music video of zombies with glowing eyes coming after a bunch of kids in a shack when taking into consideration how you feel about this song.  Between the autotune, that weird little effect at 0:13 that seems to be pretty popular in many recent songs, and this dude's hair flips, I'm unsure if its weird or not that I actually like this song a lot.  The first time I heard it I thought "what is this shit?", but every time since that I've become more and more attached to it.  The rhythm is addicting.  Any thoughts?
 

Nice Suspenders Bro

 

You gotta give this old guy some credit for trying to get out of the house and do something productive with his time, admirable.  But what was he thinking when he left his home to work up a sweat at the gym? "It may cause me 3rd degree chaffage wearing these jeans, but at least my jeans will stay up"?  Who wants to be hospitalized for chaffage of the goods?  That's what elastic is for bro, one of the greatest inventions of all time.  Throw the sweats on baby, Nike won't be coming out with any Dri-Fit suspenders any time soon for you.  But, I guess it's better than seeing this bro walking around the gym in those tiny running dickshorts.  Anyone who has ever been to the gym and seen some twig walking around in these awkward things knows exactly what I'm talking about.  I definitely vote suspenders & jeans over dickshorts any day of the week, you've proved your point Wiseman.  Touche Sir.

BREAKING NEWS: No One Cares About Women's Sports

 
First of all, Congratulations to the Connecticut Huskies Women's Basketball team for claiming the longest winning streak in NCAA sports history, a truly amazing feat.  The Lady Huskies have won each game by an astonishing average of  a 33.3 point differential.  Prior to last night's game, Head Coach Geno Auriemma made many ill-timed, unneccessary statements.  "I just know there wouldn't be this many people in the room if we were chasing a woman's record," he said. "The reason everybody is having a heart attack the last four or five days is a bunch of women are threatening to break a men's record, and everybody is all up in arms about it.

Well honestly Geno, no one is "up in arms about it" because it is in fact women's basketball.  Tonight I watched the Orlando Magic versus the Dallas Mavericks on NBA TV, instead of your girls break the record.  Why?  At the end of the day you are still coaching women's basketball.  Although it is considered the purest form of basketball in the world due to the lack of player size, jumping ability, and increased utilization of mid-range jump shots, it's not entertaining.  For such an important game I barely hesitated to change the channel from a game between two NBA teams I don't care about to the 89th consecutive win game for the UCONN ladies (Plus the Maverick-Magic game actually turned out to be pretty good). 

I guarantee no men's team will ever break the UCONN Women's basketball team win streak if it ever ends, let alone John Wooden's UCLA Men's basketball win streak.  The reason is parity, or lack there of I should say.  The Lady Huskies defeated the number 11 ranked Ohio State Women's basketball team by 31 points on Sunday.  Only 3 times in the past 3 years worth of games has a team come within 10 or fewer points of Connecticut.  That's absurd.  What would make Geno Auriemma think that anyone cares about his Women's basketball games when everyone knows they are going to win.  There was not the slightest chance that number 20 Florida State knocked them off tonight.

Auriemma also says, "Because we're breaking a men's record, we've got a lot of people paying attention. If we were breaking a women's record, everybody would go, 'Aren't those girls nice, let's give them two paragraphs in USA Today, give them one line on the bottom of ESPN and then let's send them back where they belong, in the kitchen.' "  Yes, there are a lot of people paying attention to the streak now, but not because it is a men's basketball streak, but because of how legendary the UCLA teams were that earned it to begin with.  Maybe Geno did this as a stunt to attract more attention to the struggling sport of women's basketball, maybe he really believes what he said, either way, Geno should probably head to the kitchen before anyone else should so he can cook up some better educated statements and ask himself, "Am I in it for my ego, or the good of my team". If he is looking for comparisons to John Wooden, this doesn't help his case. This whiny tantrum is something that would never come from the beloved John Wooden (a longtime supporter of the Lady Huskies).

The streak is obviously a significant, important day in the sports world which signifies the reason that people watch, play, and show admiration in all sports: the jaunt for excellence.  The NCAA sports winning streak has been broken, and the NCAA Women's basketball winning streak has most certainly been shattered, but the NCAA Men's basketball winning streak has not, and never will be overcome by another Men's team.  John Wooden's UCLA basketball teams stand alone in not only the talent they possessed, but the talent they faced.  For this reason, Geno Auriemma's legacy will never truly stand close to the Great John Wooden's.

 
 

P.S. - The Lingerie Football League's very own Los Angeles Temptation face the San Diego Seduction on New Years day at 9 PM.  I recommend tuning in, it might be the only women's sports I watch for the entire new year.  That and the Lingerie Bowl February 6th...

Get Your Ass to Wegmans!

 

I live with downstater Bros at college, none of which have ever been to a Wegmans.  They hear me talk about how fresh, and how much better Wegmans is as a whole compared to any other grocery store.  "It's only a grocery store", they say.  False.  Wegmans represents the quality that everyone expects when they go to buy food.  Tonight I just finished a fresh sub that they'll make for you on the fly just like any other sub joint: Subway, Quiznos, etc, except 1000 times better.  Last night I cooked up some crab cakes that i watched an employee prepare, some fresh scallops, and ravioli, all a Wegmans product.  Now they even have 30 Rock's Bro Alec Baldwin as a spokesperson for Wegmans, who earlier this year was on The Late Show with David Letterman boasting about Wegmans.  Wegmans has managed to excel as a regional company.  Hopefully they can remain successful within the region because you will not find a fresher aura at a grocery store than you do when you make a  shopping getaway stop Wegmans.   Get to Weggy's and check it out, it'll blow your mind!
 

Poll of the Week: Choke Artists

[polldaddy poll=4279893]

The Resurrection of The BroCave

 
 
I know how much everyone has missed the number of annoying updates via facebook about every post that is made on here.  I need some way to get views, and now they're back.  An actual page that you can "Like" on facebook is now in the process of being made, one that won't give you an update for every post, and will instead let you look during a time of your liking.  The BroCave is coming back stronger than ever, after a short period of  neglect.  I'm hoping to add a few Bros to help out with the continuation of the blog to keep it up and running.  Prepare yourself for the new and improved BroCave.  Remember, "Once a Bro, Always a Bro."  Read on Bros...

The 2010 Turkey Day Pick 'Em

[caption id="attachment_243" align="aligncenter" width="308" caption="The Galloping Gobbler Trophy"][/caption]

 
 
  
   New England Patriots -7   @ +7   Detroit Lions  

The Pats are finally starting to get everything together after a slow past couple of weeks.  The Brady to Welker connection hasn't yet reached the level of productivity that it had the past 2 years, and it may never reach that level again without Randy Moss.  But, with the long-awaited addition of a running game to the offense, the undersized white boys (Welker and Woodhead) will have no problem leading the Patriots to a victory by more than 7 points.  The Patriots are better than the Lions in every overall aspect of the game.

Pick - New England Patriots  -7
 

   New Orleans Saints -4   @ +4   Dallas Cowboys  

So the "Boys have been hitting hard the past few weeks, impressively winning both games under interim Head Coach Jason Garrett.  In Cowboys history, only two new head coaches have ever started their journey 2-0.  This will mark the end of both Garrett's and Kitna's recent luck.  The reigning champs don't look anywhere near as powerful as they did last year, but the return of Reggie Bush should provide an additional spark to the Saints already loaded offense.

Pick - New Orleans Saints  -4
 

   Cincinnati Bengals +9   @ -9   New York Jets  

I can't say enough about how clutch the Jets offense has been in the waning seconds of close games.  All this talk between Terrell Owens and Darrelle Revis is the same thing that got Chad Ochocinco absolutely owned last year in the playoffs.  The last time these teams met last year, Ochocinco claimed that if Revis shut him out from getting a touchdown, he would change his legal last name back to Johnson.  That still hasn't happened and Ochocinco was held to 2 receptions for 28 yards.  Notice that Ochocinco hasn't said a word this entire week, probably thrilled that he has Cromartie on him.  Revis just started to look like his old self last week by containing Andre Johnson to just 4 catches for 32 yards.  This week he will rise to the occasion just like he did last year in the playoffs, and this time to shut TO down.  The Jets will win, but I'm not convinced that they will score enough points to win by more than 9 points.  It may even come down to the final seconds of the game again for Dirty Sanchez to put the jungle cats away.

Pick - Cincinnati Bengals +9
 
 

So Easy a CaveBro Can do it: Miley Cyrus

 
The countdown is over, and Miley Cyrus is 18!  I'm a guy that likes to keep my odds in a realistic perspective, so I can honestly say that I'd never have a chance with her.  However I do know that the odds are good that some long-awaited pics will be released sooner than later.  She already tried to stretch those limits when she was underage a few times, and I respect her because of that.  Miley knows the bros want to see some skin, and she's clearly trying her hardest to be as slutty as possible.  Not to mention that "Party in the USA" is a sick jam. 

Even though this new guy named Avan Jogia looks like a big bag of douche,  I'm not worried.  The long awaited pics are only weeks away now.  Congratulations Miley, you've won the well deserved "So Easy a CaveBro Can do it" award of the week. 
 
 

Nude Pics:  Over/Under  -  1 month

Bro of the Week: Mark Sanchez

The New York Jets should have lost their last 5 games, but insteadthey are 4-1 in their past 5 games.  Say what you want about the Jets D, but it just isn't there like it was last year.  I've noticed first hand by having them on two fantasy football teams that they really aren't the same.  Now the defense only barely keeps the team in the game, and last year it was the sole reason the Jets made the playoffs. 

Is Mark Sanchez the next Bro Namath?  Honestly he'll probably be better, and it's sad that he's known as the Jets greatest quarterback.  Namath's numbers were terrible throwing nearly 50 more picks than touchdowns in his career, and finishing with a 50% completion percentage. 

Mark Sanchez is the reason the Jets are winning games, leading 5 game winning drives at the end of games this year already.  So as much as it pains me to declare a New York Jet Bro of the week, it has to be done.  Congrats to mark Sanchez on earning the Bro of the Week.  Eat shit next week.

Are You Kidding Me Bro?

 
This here is my Bro Brian.  Thankfully this isn't actually his hat,  and we actually aren't really sure who the hat belongs to.  But we are tired of seeing this trash lying around in our room.  So if the owner of this piece of shit happens to see this, please come take it away immediately.  Now thinking on a larger level, American Eagle... What are you doing?  You used to be the shit I wanted because I hated those Abercrombie pricks and you were relatively affordable.  Now this?  This is the winter gear you're trying to sell me?  Brian actually put this on my head when I wasn't paying attention and I thought it was a dead cat.  Who wants to buy a dead cat for $30 or let alone anything.  I hate cats, dead or alive.  So AE, its time to pull your shit together, NOW.

 
 
 
 
P.S. - Thanks to Brian for trying striking a pose in this piece of shit for The BroCave. I can't imagine being half as excited as him to have that thing on my head.

INSTANT CLASSIC!!!

 
If you have the world's greatest pleasure of being a Bills fan, than you often get to hear Gus Johnson most Sundays as he tries to make the games sound exciting.  If not, you probably don't hear Gus until March Madness rolls around in college basketball.  Either way I know its something that I'm not looking forward to hearing.  I don't know if its right to say it, but the guy may be the whitest black man on earth,  not to mention the fact that he looks like a turtle. And what the hell is with the attire in this pic?  Now he's just trying way too hard to represent.  Gangsta Gus, as far from a bro as they come, provides us with one of his latest contributions to the sports broadcasting world.  Props to the creator of this video.  Rise and Fire! 
 

The Work of a Genius

I don't know how the hell anyone thought of this, and I can't believe I would come across something this rediculous, but its freaking hilarious.  I was flipping through the channels here late tonight and leave it to TCM to catch my attention.  Dogs talking, crying, smoking, shooting guns, whatever you can think of.  If you're able to get your hands on this 16 minute movie by the next time you're baked, it might end up being one of you favorite movies to watch when you get the munchies.  Just take a peek at the clip...

Does Anyone Have Any Idea What's Going on Here?

MSNBC- More than 240,000 Germans opted-out of having their homes appear on Google Street View – but not this guy.

The service launched today in 20 German cities, and it wasn't long before this pre-censored image appeared online, accompanied by text that Google Translate interprets to read, "Somewhere in Germany a Google camera car has photographed this strange situation. We have the address of Google is not anonymous."

Consider it cultural exchange. As strident as Germany is about its privacy, it's also the birthplace of the nudist Freikörperkultur (Free Body Culture), so here in puritanical America, we might take for granted lots of Germans hang out naked in their car trunks, and nobody thinks it's strange.

Wrong! Apparently, it's almost as unsettling as we'd find it here in the U.S. "Almost" because, you know, most American trunks are filthy.

 

WTF!?  Oh nevermind.  He's just naked in his trunk, no big deal.

Going Loko

 

First let me start off by telling a tale about one of my close friend's Four Loko experiences.  This guy drank two Four Lokos in 30 minutes.  BOLD.   So naturally like any other drunk, he got hungry.  He and his bros that he was catching up with took a stroll to the good ol dining hall.  This was roughly 6-7 o'clock according to him.... come 1:30 AM, he wakes up in the basement of the dining hall, in his own vomit, with no recollection of how he  got where he was.  Thank you, Four Loko.  This is the type of story we want to tell our kids about college, assuming we make it that far.

This week on campus the big buzz is all about Four Lokos.  By now,  everyone who has ever had a Four Loko has heard that bans are being set into place almost nation-wide.  I myself just had my first Four Loko this past weekend, and to say the least, it did its job.  Previously I stated that I was over the whole Loko rave and I wouldn't have a problem getting a buzz another way.  Where that last part is true, it turns out that I'm back on the bandwagon.  A good friend has recently presented me with an opportunity to get my hands on a couple of cases of this "Blackout in a can" as its often called, and I jumped on it immediately.  Plus, these babies still have the caffeine in them that Four Loko plans on taking out to prevent the nation-wide ban.  Red Bull & Vodka can wait, I've got my hands on some liquid gold baby!! 

Does Anybody Really Fucking Care About Soccer?

You might be thinking, "Oh shit, this guys in alot of pain, what happened?"  Nothing happened.  Yea the World Cup is pretty awesome to watch, all the fans of each country coming together to support their team and all, but is it a sport or all an act?  I'm sick and tired of seeing pussies, put a show on by faking ghost injuries on the ground.  There should be no reason for me to absolutely loathe watching soccer even though I played it my entire life, and loved to play it.

It's bad enough that the NBA has assholes like Pau Gasol (a huge soccer fan) flopping himself all over the place everytime he makes any contact.  That's annoying, but it doesn't completely halt the game.  I guess that's why the United States has it's own, way better version of football.

"If there is one thing in this world I cannot stand, it is fucking soccer, all right? And I hate when people do it around me!"

                                                                                                            -Kenny Powers

T-Woods Going Deep

 

Newsweek - Last November, everything I thought I knew about myself changed abruptly, and what others perceived about me shifted, too. I had been conducting my personal life in an artificial way—as if detached from the values my upbringing had taught, and that I should have embraced.
       The physical pain from that car accident has long healed. But the pain in my soul is more complex and unsettling; it has been far more difficult to ease—and to understand. But this much is obvious now: my life was out of balance, and my priorities were out of order. I made terrible choices and repeated mistakes. I hurt the people whom I loved the most. And even beyond accepting the consequences and responsibility, there is the ongoing struggle to learn from my failings.
       At first, I didn’t want to look inward. Frankly, I was scared of what I would find—what I had become. But I’m grateful that I did examine my life because it has made me more grounded than I’ve ever been; I hope that with reflection will come wisdom. Golf is a self-centered game, in ways good and bad. So much depends on one’s own abilities. But for me, that self-reliance made me think I could tackle the world by myself. It made me think that if I was successful in golf, then I was invincible. Now I know that, no matter how tough or strong we are, we all need to rely on others.
       Slowly, I’m regaining the balance that I’d lost. My healing process is far from complete, but I am beginning to appreciate things I had overlooked before. I’m learning that some victories can mean smiles, not trophies, and that life’s most ordinary events can bring joy. Giving my son, Charlie, a bath, for example, beats chipping another bucket of balls. Making mac and cheese for him and his sister, Sam, is better than dining in any restaurant. Sharing a laugh watching cartoons or reading a book beats channel-surfing alone. Some nights now, it’s just me and the kids, an experience that’s both trying and rewarding. Probably like the experience a lot of families have every evening around the world.
       When I first came back to golf this spring, after taking a necessary break, I was worried about how fans would treat me. But they’ve been kinder and more supportive than I ever imagined possible. That’s true away from the golf course, too. When I go to the store, or to work out, or to grab lunch, I’ve been amazed by the considerate, encouraging words I hear. I’ve realized that those sentiments are not merely courtesies but generous expressions of compassion for which I’ll always be thankful.
       I have a lasting gratitude to those who stood by me in ways large and small. Unfortunately, opportunists are trying still to cash in on my troubles, no matter how irresponsible or ridiculous their claims may be. In many cases, I’ve never even met these people. But there’s no way I can dispute each lie without provoking more. Besides, everyone has probably heard more than they ever wanted to about my private life.
       I can never truly repair the damage I’ve done, especially to my family. But I can keep trying. What endures in the record books are the achievements won through competition. What endures in our actual lives is the love of our family and the respect of others. I know now that some things can and must change with time and effort. I’m not the same man I was a year ago. And that’s a good thing.

 

 If "T-Woods Going Deep" was the title of a post about Tiger one year ago, there's no way it would mean the same thing as it does now.  Once everyone was convinced they'd heard the last from Tiger this year, "Cheetah Woods" lets it all out right from the heart on this one.  Honestly, even if you're the most feminist bitch on the planet, how can you not be impressed?  This guy has done some stupid shit, shit that was made public before he even had a chance to admit to it.  He finally realizes how bad of a mistake he made when he smooshed with multiple trampy hefers, instead of staying true to his beautiful wife Elin and two kids.  Very unBro-like.  But shit happens and you've gotta move on. 

Now that he has only limited time with his kids, he's really starting to understand what he lost.  Next golf season, Tiger will come back more determined to win than ever.  Whether he will win a major next year is unknown, but he will have his pride, and continue to gain supporters.  Tiger Woods is a changed person.  Welcome back Bro.

What endures in the record books are the achievements won through competition. What endures in our actual lives is the love of our family and the respect of others.

                                                                -Tiger Woods

2011 Already Looking Promising at the Box Offices

 

So I saw this trailer today and it prompted me to check out what the upcoming movies in 2011 are. It looks like I'll be spending a significant amount of time burning my cash at the overpriced Regal.  Here's ten movies that will officially be released in 2011 to look into...

 

• 
  
  Your Highness


• 
  
  The Hangover Part II


• 
  
  Green Lantern


• 
  
  Battle: Los Angeles


• 
  
  Green Hornet


• 
  
  Moneyball


• 
  
  The Mechanic


• 
  
  Transformers: Dark of the Moon


• 
  
  Cowboys & Aliens


• 
  
  Captain America: The First Avenger

 

So Easy a CaveBro Can do it: Capri Anderson

Meet Capri Anderson.  This 22 year old porn star locked herself in the bathroom of a hotel room that she was sharing with 45 year year old Charlie Sheen who reportedly caused about $7,000 worth of damage to the room.  This came after the two had a dinner with Sheen's ex-wife and kids Denise Richards.  Both were naked and drugged up when the NYPD showed up to solve the mess.  Sheen is certainly holding true to his nickname in "Major League", the "Wild Thing".  Sheen is more than twice the age of Anderson.  Are you kidding me bro?  I may have to create a page based on Charlie Sheen's life, this guy clearly knows what he's doing.  A bro fo sho. 

More importantly, check her out.  Luckily I was able to find one of the rare photos of Capri with some kind of clothing on so I could post it on The BroCave, and I assure you that when you search her after you read this, you will not be disappointed with the many other results you find. 

So all in all, i've given alot of thought to who the first "So Easy a CaveBro Can do it" post would be, and as many ladies as there are around campus that may deserve this honor, Capri Anderson has outdone you.  Congratulations to you Capri, get it in bros.

Where is the Love?

 

Alright assholes,  I want you bros to know i'm truly thankful anytime that one of you take a peek at the cave to see what's up (even if you dont comment).  I just added a little widget on the right side of the page where you readers can help donate to The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society just by taking a little survey that literally takes less than 30 seconds.  You can do it as many times as you want, it doesn't matter, at least do it once.  Maybe if you're feeling generous enough you can even donate $5 by texting HFC to 90999.  Get your shit straight, be a good person, and just do it.

 

Say What You Want, But This Made My Night

So I've heard about the Teletubbies sex scandal shit and this completely negates that.  This is one of the most entertaining videos I've seen in a while and I give full credit to the creative mind of Brian Husted who searched "Gangsta Ass Teletubbies" on YouTube.  Props bro, now I know where you get those sick ass dance moves from.

Cornell Professor: Certified Nutjob

Chill out Brosef Stalin.  Anyone who has ever gone to a single college class in their life has yawned at least once during class.  Cornell is more than often said to be the easiest Ivy League school to get into, and hardest to stay in, and this guy is tweaking about an "overlyloud yawn"?  Just because your career has stalled, you don't have any right to flip out on your students, and then indirectly threaten to make the overlyloud yawner pay for it.  Yawn.  Peace out Napoleon Complex, looks like the career stall won't be ending anytime soon.

P.S.- If anyone is interested in sending a simple yawn video or email, here is this bromo's contact information.  Maybe even hit this asshole up with a quick yawn during his office hours.

Mark Talbert
Senior Lecturer
Information Systems
342 Statler Hall
Phone: 607-255-0363
Email: mpt2@cornell.edu

 

Bro of the Week: Michael Vick

So Mikey killed dogs.  That shit makes me sick.  But you know what doesn't?  Vick shitting all over fantasy football owners everywhere that thought they had their week clinched.  Not on the Dog Whisperer's watch!  Six total touchdowns tonight, over 300 yards passing, and 80 yards rushing.  BEAST.  The guy is clearly one of the most gifted athletes of the 2000s, and Vick fighting back like he has is a  story of heart and great ambition.  However, that will not stop me from buying one of these chew toys for my little homedog Buddy.  Props to the creator of this chew toy too.

Is This a Joke?

For anyone that has every lived, worked, or stepped foot in a building with an elevator, you know what i'm talking about.  I understand the handicapped taking the vator of course, but seriously people, are you that fucking lazy?  Even if you're 200 pounds overweight, one trip up or down the stairs is a good way for you to get your week's worth of exercise.  Maybe it sounds bad, but it's true.  Save everyone some time,  help cut America's obesity rate and walk down one flight of stairs.

IC Shit

Whether we're talking about the famous Cortaca game, or the ice-cold drinks flowing from 7:30 am Saturday through Sunday morning, Cortaca weekend did not disappoint.  After trailing for three-quarters, the Red Dragons began a rally to outscore Ithaca College 17-0, and to reclaim the Cortaca Jug to its rightful owner.  Cortland relied on the legs of Sophomore Running Back Justin Autera who carried the ball 37 times for 236 yards and scored SUNY Cortland's 2 touchdowns.

So yeah, the game couldn't have been better, the weather was perfect, but so were the Four Lokos.  Congrats to the school, the football team, and all the fans of SUNY Cortland.  Ithaca, you goddamn hippies, can't say the same for you.  Go eat your organic food and pay 5 times the tuition C-State students do.  Win or lose, we still booze, and guess what?  We won.  IC Shit.

"This is the first time I've ever been drunk twice in one day"

                                                                    -Mike Cody